Drew Boswell

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Culture Shock; A Southern Boy Comes Home

Something happened this week that took me by surprise. I was reared in Russell County Alabama, was picked up by my grandparents for church since I was old enough to walk, and went to a southern university (War Eagle!). It was out of college that I felt called to ministry and was off to seminary in North Carolina. I then was called to be a pastor in Maryland.

Honestly, with eleven years having passed, I don’t really remember the culture differences upon my arrival, but I know there were many. The one that stands out the most was my southern draw. After about seven to eight years it had gone away. I intentionally worked on it, because it would be a point of distraction when I preached or did public speaking.

So when Kimberly and I felt called to move back to the deep south, I was surprised at how I have been reacting to the difference I sense within me. I thought I would instantly be right at home; and in some ways I am, but I other ways I am not. I have felt the inward resistance to allow myself to change to the cultural differences. My children after only a couple of months of school have already begun to break single syllable words into multiple syllables.  They seem to be doing fine, making new friends, and blending in. I on the other hand am slow to change.  If someone were to ask where these differences are, I couldn’t really put my finger on it, only that things are different. But here are a few:

1)   Southern Hospitality is still alive. It has not disappeared during my absence. My family has been overwhelmed by the love from the congregation where we serve, and the welcoming community as a whole. Church functions include vast amounts of food that often times has been hand made. We had so many people bringing us food after our arrival that we could not keep up with thank you cards.

We have experienced several funerals where the church and community bring large dishes for the family where they all eat together. Mourners sit together, eating a home made meal and tell stories of the deceased.

As I was writing this article in Atlanta Bread a man came in and began to ask for money. He was holding a plastic jar with a screw on top. I instantly gave him my rehearsed answer that I had given hundreds of times before. The southern woman sitting across from me instantly reached into her purse and pulled out several ones and gave it to him with a smile. I don’t believe that there really is a raffle for his sick son, but she gave it knowing that it probably was a scam.

2)   Respect for One Another. My children were instructed the first day of school to say, “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Sir.” As we were introduced to various children and their parents the children would respond in this way (without having to be told to do so).  There is a cultural understanding that adults (especially older adults) are to be treated with a great deal of respect and honor.

3)   The Centrality of the Church in Everyday Life. There are still communities where the family understands how important the church is to their lives, and protects that relationship from encroachment. When we began meeting with Cub Scouts, several of the parents were very vocal about not planning events on Sunday mornings because “we go to church on Sunday.”

Football is king in South Georgia, but there are no practices, scrimmages, weight lifting sessions; nothing is done on Sunday mornings (or Sunday at all for that matter). Students still pray before the local Friday night high school football games, and they even say, “in Jesus name.” Like a cool breeze, it is so refreshing.

Children don’t come to church dressed in cleats and sporting attire. They are there for church; it is not a pit stop on their way to the real event.

Every culture has a negative side (if it didn’t I wouldn’t have a job). So, while church is central to the culture, there will be people there who are not authentic Christ followers. I know, “surprise!” Their belief may even be based on the religious assumption that going to church will earn them a spot in heaven.

I am slow to change, and tend to think about things too much. I over plan, and think too much about worst-case scenarios. I love books like “Worst Case Survival Handbook; the man skills edition.” Perhaps the reason why I resist is that I am not sure what the worst-case scenario would be in this new environment. What I am finding disturbing is that I am beginning to see that I have developed a hard edge. The cold winters of Maryland and hard years of ministry have taken a toll that I had not expected. The southern culture exposes that hard-heartedness and I am not comfortable with that (yet).

 

Institutional Memory

Today is our sixty-fourth day of being the Pastor of Children and Families at First Baptist Church Valdosta in South Georgia. My family and I are being exposed to a new city, new schools for the kids, new friends, new church facility, and new staff to work with.  When any person comes into a new position in an organization, especially a church that has existed for 150 years, there is a base of knowledge that the organization has, that the new person does not possess.

For example, every week that I have been at my new ministry position I have discovered different things about the church and its’ history. I discovered that the youth building used to be a hospital and has a morgue in the basement. I discovered an old safe in one of the front Sunday School rooms. I discovered that we owned a garage across the street and it was filled with all kinds of treasures (like racks of canoes, Boy Scout supplies, a huge Bar-B-Q cooker, etc.) I discovered where my office was located after getting lost several times. This week as I was searching for architectural plans for our children’s building in a remote cabinet in the annals of the sanctuary I discovered a room dedicated to the making of ceramic figurines (which I have now learned is the ceramics room).

So the “rookie” begins the process of learning the organizations history and its’ members. I have learned from talking with our custodian not to get rid of anything unless I ask some key people first. That old beat up raggedy object that you are sure is junk was once used in ministry and whoever led that ministry does not want it removed or thrown away.

The previous youth pastor got into some hot water when he started throwing away the Boy Scout’s pamphlets into a dumpster (which he later had to fish out). Dusty they may have been, “trash” they were not. One man’s junk is truly another man’s treasure.

So along with this history of the organization and it’s stuff is a culture and way of doing things that one wisely should take note of. Let’s call this “institutional memory.” This is the accumulation of experiences and people that culminate into an organization’s history and culture. There are names on plaques, vases, walls, and buildings for a reason.

To pretend that you are the first to explore these waters of ministry is at the very least self-righteous and if taken to the extreme heartless and uncaring. It is because of the previous generation that the church is where it is today. If you love them and respect their pilgrimage before you, they may look to you for leadership. If you ignore them and their journey, you won’t last very long nor will you accomplish very much.

At the same time, those who possess institutional memories should not use this knowledge for personal gain, control, or manipulation. And when it is said, “that’s not how we do things around here,” it stifles creativity and the bringing of new ideas to the table. I have been blessed to have been encouraged and supported every step of the way (in all my sixty-four days.)

God has called me to lead in my new place of ministry, but I am not the first to chart these waters. There have been godly men and women before me. They had great ideas, worked hard, experienced God’s blessing, sacrificially gave, and expanded the kingdom. Now, as I run with the baton now passed on to me, I recognize their accomplishments and their race having been run.  I don’t want to start over at the beginning; I am content to run the race put before me. I am thankful for the faithfulness of others in the past.

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Three Cliches to Help You Work Through Institutional Memory

1. “Rome Was Not Built In a Day” — Having moved from a church planting environment with no buildings to a very established church with multiple blocks of facilites, I recognize that all that currently exists was not built over night. There have been many generations who have faithfully served the Lord and slowly built what now exists. This is not just brick and mortar, but a good reputation in the community. When you begin a new place of ministry, it is only right to recognize that many have sacrificed so that you are able to do what you do. If you are to make a difference don’t expect to do it over night. Move slowly, carefully, and methodically so that you don’t destroy a work that took decades or even generations to build.

2. “Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder” — It amazes me how fast nostalgia begins to set in amongst a group of people. It always seems that last year was better than today.  We quickly forget that yesterday was filled with heartache and difficulty as well, but today just seems harder. Don’t get upset if people look back with thoughts of “golden years.” God has great plans for you and your generation too. Those saints who have gone to be with the Lord and their service to His church should be honored and remembered.

3. “An oldie, but a goodie” — Don’t dismiss something simply because it is old. Someone has had to deal with the same “issues” that you are having to deal with; why not see what they came up with? Why reinvent the wheel every new generation? Newer is not always better, and older is not always antiquated.

Review and Repetition; The ZIP PLOP Method by Daryl Dale

Daryl Dale is a children’s pastor in CT and was very influential to me at Children’s Pastor’s Conference that I attended in 2002. He placed the following article in his curriculum for the years while he published his own curriculum. Since it is out of print, and defiantly worth reading by all educators, I have reprinted it below.

“The human brain remembers what it understands and what is repeated. Bible stories and concepts are selected on the basis of the child’s ability to understand the primary truth in the story. It is through teaching the child learns the real meaning and application of the Bible story. It is through repetition learning is stored in the child’s long term memory and retained. It is almost impossible for a child to remember our Bible lessons without repetition and review.

Those who study how learning takes place in the brain describe our minds having two parts: a short term memory and a long term memory. The short term memory remembers new facts and concepts for about ten seconds and then forgets them unless they are repeated. When you hear a phone number, person’s name or directions to a store that information will be lost unless you write it down or repeat it in your mind several times. Each time we repeat the information in our mind we will remember it a little longer. With repetition and use new knowledge is moved into our long term memory and remembered for months or even years.

The ZIP PLOP method of teaching is all too common in church classrooms. Imagine the child’s brain as being a tunnel that stretches from ear to ear. This tunnel is three inches square and nine inches long. Pretend each Bible lesson is a three-inch-block. Every week we teach a new lesson and push a new three inch block into the child’s head.

However, after three blocks are in the child’s brain, what happens when the fourth lesson is put in? It plops out. If week after week the teacher continues to push new lessons into the child’s brain without review, the material almost literally goes in one ear and out the other. However, each time a Bible concept is reviewed it is prevented from escaping the mind and stored more securely in the long term memory of the child.

Sometimes the review and repetition may seem cumbersome and unnecessary. However, with review the learning of the children will be multiplied many times. Remember this little poem:

If it is important enough to teach,

It is important enough to review.

It is important enough to learn,

It is important enough to remember.”

A suggestion is the get the sentence strips at educational stores and write your review items on them, (part of the item on one side, and the conclusion on the back). By adding a few every week during a particular topic of study, you will greatly improve your students recall of specific items of study, memory verses, names, places, etc. It only takes a few minutes to do, and you can make it fun.

My Recurring Nightmare

I have a recurring dream that has been terrifying. The kind of dream where you awake covered in sweat, breathing hard, and thanking the Lord that it was only a dream. It has nothing to do with drowning, clowns, or falling (well sort of).

It begins with me being at a Christmas party. There is the sound of music and various sounds of being at a party (clinking of silverware and dishes, the crackling of a fire, laughs, conversations, little feet running, etc.)

The room that I find myself in is beautifully decorated with Christmas apparel. There is yard after yard of garland, golden balls, bells, and thousands of lights. The room is dark but light by the tiny white lights and candles. The room has a feeling of home and it is when I have taken in the beauty of the room and am comfortably sitting by myself that I realize that she is there.

I always enter the dream sitting in this place and there is a knowledge that she has just passed through the room even though I don’t remember what she looks like or how I know her. Lingering in the room is the smell of her perfume from her presence only moments before and now I hear her whisper from the darkness of another room to join her.

I don’t really have to move, only let go. Let go of everything and deeply and slowly inhale. It is then that I begin to drift. At the moment when I know that I have smelled too deeply of her perfume and at the point of taking like changing actions, I have a moment of clear thinking.

It is at this point that I glance down to find my feet bound in some ancient crudely fashioned chain. I yell “no” as loud as I can – but the sounds of the party continue, no one hears me. The chains begin to pull me into darkness, and I yell one more time, “I am not his!” I glance to my right and see a warriors’ helmet perfectly crafted for my head, and I can almost make out the shape of my face in it’s front. It was made in the depths below, and comes back as if I remember wearing it in some distant battle, and had forgotten of its dusty existence.

I yell one more time, “I am His!” All parties concerned know who I mean when I say, “His.” There is no need to mention His name, and I am almost ashamed to mention it considering my predicament. Then the chains release, and I am awake.

The battle is never really for my soul, for it already belongs to Christ. The battle is for my effectiveness. Who am I fighting for and how effective will I become? My fear is that I will be led away by a temptation; that I will smell too deeply of her perfume, and be led away into darkness and ineffectiveness – even fighting for the Evil One and not even know it – that the helmet already fitted for my head will be returned once more.

The temptress’s perfume fogs the mind and lulls one into sleep. Her desire is for you to smell deeply, and cast everything aside – let go, and not to consider the cost.

That’s my nightmare.  Her perfume has always been just a room away.

Solomon tells his son that wisdom is what will keep him from destroying his life. I pray that God gives us all nightmares and constantly remind us of the cost of lacking wisdom. Proverbs 2:17-22 “So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, 17 who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; 18 for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; 19 none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life. 20 So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. 21 For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it, 22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it.”

"For by grace you have been saved through faith." Ephesians 2:8

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