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A Season for Everything — Dealing with 2020

Drew Boswell Ministries

A Season for Everything -- Dealing with 2020

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***There is a sermon link at the bottom of this page from a sermon I preached on Ecclesiastes 3, a few years ago.

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Life is constantly moving from one thing to another and we are in constant transition. When you are born your body radically changes daily. From there it’s walking, potty training, eating by yourself, then eventually reading, writing, driving, Calculus, girlfriends, college, marriage, kids, mini-vans, thinning hair, kids start dating, kids leave for college, etc. At every stage, just when you have it figured out, guess what? It’s time to change to something else. If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that life is going to change, and rarely does it go back to being “normal.”

The following are a few mistakes that we can make in dealing with transitions.

Mistakes of dealing with transitions of life:

Moving Forward Too Fast

This is when we are looking toward the next transition too soon.When I was in seminary there were those that would max out the amount of classes they could take. They rarely (if ever) left their rooms except to go to class. If you did happen to see these recluses, and were able to squeeze in a conversation, they constantly talked about how they wanted to finish school as soon as possible (yeah, no kidding).

They were missing “the seminary experience” in order to get to the “real world” of ministry. The whole purpose of seminary was to equip them for the ministry they desired to do, but in their rushing through the experience they were short circuiting the process of being equipped in order to move to the next stage. They were checking the boxes as fast as they could.

At every stage of life and in every time of transition there are things we are to learn, life lessons to experience, and people that we are to meet and engage in life with. If you move from stage to stage, and transition to transition, with never stopping to engage in the moment, then you are going to miss something very important in your life. But seriously, “When have you finally arrived?” At what point of success will you slow down and concentrate on the moment?

Holding On For Too Long

The second mistake is the opposite of the first. This is when we try to hold on to the past so long that it keeps us from moving with the flow of the present. It’s like we are anchored to the past, and the swirl of the current of life roars past us. If Stacy London and Clinton Kelly have taught me anything, it is that people get trapped in a time of their lives then they were happy or at least felt safe. But when they aren’t able to move forward in life (like when someone dies, a divorce, or some other tragic event) their fashion/dress gets stuck and they don’t move on. This is a visual picture of what happens when we don’t roll with the transitions, but emotionally (which we can’t see) it make take the form of shutting down, not trying, or just trying to disappear from society. Life becomes this dance of grabbing on the present, while letting go of the past – moment to moment.

People Are Important

Another mistake people make in dealing with transitions is Not Developing Relationships As You Go. Life (and ministry) is all about relationships, people, and how we are all connected together. It took me until my adult life to realize that the people who have been in my life weren’t just there (as trees in a landscape), they were there for me to develop meaningful relationships with.

In our self-centered lives we tend to view people as ways to get us to where we want to go; they become tools we use to help us advance in our goals, visions, or careers. If they can’t be of help to us, we tend to marginalize them out of our lives. This is a huge mistake because even if you perceive that a person will be in your life for a short period of time, you still should make an effort to get to know them, love them, befriend them, and invest your life in theirs. Who knows where it might lead and what the future holds? But also, what if we are in one season of life much longer than we had anticipated?

Not Enjoying the Moment

There are moments in my kid’s lives that I will always treasure. I have loved leading Joshua and Caleb in Scouts, having lunch with Isaac and picking him up from school, or doing Hannah-Grace’s hair for a dance recital when her mother had to go out of town.

It sounds cliche, but “stop to smell the roses.” Our kids are only in their transition for a moment and then they move on to something else. Each day is a gift, and each new change is an opportunity to keep a great relationship, start over, or make things right.

Transitions cause stress in our lives. We feel the need to make decisions, and our focus can become completely consumed by this need to take some action, make a final decision, or the feeling to just do something. During these times of transitions (especially during moments like today) we are not sure of what we need to do. In that time of stress, life still moves on, it doesn’t stop because we are not sure what we should be doing.

Ministry involves emotional work. Like nurses or police officers, pastors regularly engage in activities as a part of their day-to-day responsibilities where they must deal with other people’s problems, emotions, and behavior. They are expected to express love, compassion, emotion, or they are expected to reserve that emotion, to be professionally distant and to control it all like a switch.

So as the years go by, if we are not careful, our emotion switch gets stuck or even broken. Numbness and callousness sets in like a whiteout in the winter. We stop feeling, caring, and everything goes on autopilot. We are so “professional” that we can fool everyone, even ourselves.

But if we are numb on the inside, then we miss those moments of transitions that our kid’s need for us to be completely present. If you are at this point, and you are not able to enjoy the moment then stop what you are doing, take a break, pray, and focus on doing whatever it takes to regain your sense of feeling. One of the ways that I have found to manage that professional numbness is to focus on today (you can’t control tomorrow). I don’t know what God has in store for me in the future, but today I have responsibilities, children who need a dad, a wife that needs a husband, etc. If I can focus on that, and only that, then I can fend off the feeling of paralysis by analysis.

All of these things deal with finding the right balance between moving and staying still, holding on and letting go, building up and moving on (Ecclesiastes 3 puts it much better; see below). I would also recommend “Didn’t See It Coming,” by Carey Nieuwhof. While it doesn’t completely offer steps to solve this issue, it does give you a point of reference on the topic (in other words it is a helpful place to begin the discussion with yourself and others).

I have found that it has been my relationship with Jesus that allowed me to find that place between true joy through living out one’s purpose without slipping into numb professionalism and feeling overwhelmed by the magnitude of life.

Here is a sermon on Ecclesiastes 3 that I preached at Daybreak Community Church, many a moon ago. It also deals with the issue of change and how life stinks sometimes.

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Ecclesiastes 3 “A Time for Everything” (ESV)

For everything there is a season, and ^la time for every matter under heaven:

² a time to be born, and a time to ^mdie;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

³ a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴ a time to ⁿweep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to ^odance;

⁵ a time to ^pcast away stones, and a time to ^qgather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to ^rrefrain from embracing;

⁶ a time to seek, and a time to ^slose;

a time to keep, and a time to ^tcast away;

⁷ a time to ^utear, and a time to sew;

a time to ^vkeep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸ a time to love, and a time to ^whate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

So You May Feel Called to the Gospel Ministry?

Vision: You’re Doing It Wrong. Three Common Mistakes Leaders Make Relating to Vision

Churches and businesses are drawing close to the time when they will begin to gather and open in groups once again. Pastors, staffs, and business owners are going to make decisions regarding reopening their doors and gather in groups. While they have gained new ways of doing things (Zoom meetings, social distancing, sanitizing, etc.) its’ natural tendency is to go back to “normal” — but they are in a day that their “old normal” just can not continue. Churches and businesses have to change, but it is the vision of the organization that will allow it move through these unknown and treacherous times.

Focusing on the issues and changes that need to be made will keep you away from the vision if you allow it, but one would do it to their own peril. The following are three things that many leaders get wrong — it is the vision that will allow them to navigate through these tough decisions.

1. Mistake#1 – Vision is Not About Fixing Problems.

Vision is not seeing perceived problems that need to be fixed and then designing a plan to fix those problems. Fixing problems is on the job description for a leader, but it is not vision. A skillful leader can fix problems all the day long but never show vision.

The leader who falls into this category is stuck in maintenance mode. Nehemiah did not fix the walls because they were broken. The broken walls changed how God’s people were living, so the walls had to be built so that people’s lives would be changed. When we are only about fixing problems we have actually lost sight of the vision. Casting vision and pushing it through the organization will cause all kinds of issues, it actually creates problems.

A good vision will allow people to clearly see where the organization is going, there will be people who don’t want to go on this trip, and others will want to get on the bus with you. But don’t expect it to be clean and neat, and that everyone will be happy.

2. Mistake #2 – Vision is Not a Group Project.

A vision can be shared, but it cannot be developed by the organization, it has to come from the leader. Visions spread and are adapted as they grow throughout an organization. They begin to take a life of their own in different ways, but it is a guiding force from the top of the organization.

The top leader has to constantly push the vision because it will get lost among the masses. The organization as a whole cannot push the vision forward without the main leader encouraging them to do so. God does not give multiple visions to multiple people, He gives one vision to the main leader. If He did there would be chaos.

This is not to say that counsel should not be sought after before developing a vision or even letting key leaders have input into the process. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” But once they have been heard and their advice taken into account, it is the main leader who sets the vision.

3. Mistake #3 – Vision Is Not ALL About Making Changes.

Beginning something new, ending something that is not working, or making changes, is not vision. Changes are tools that allow you reach or achieve the vision. You can change how you are structured, hire or fire employees, etc. but these are changes that make organizations healthy and stable. Once the organization is stable, healthy, etc. you still have to ask and answer the question “Why are we doing this?” and you have to have an answer (and ask it again, and again, and again, ad nauseam).

Families Staying Together During the Service; Six Suggestions on Including Children in the Worship Experience

So church is starting back and for a short season we are following social distancing and staying together during the entire service. Part of the new-normal is the recognition that your children will be with you during the service, and most churches have elected to keep the children in the services. So, there you are, in the service, and your little ones are crawling under your feet, making clicking noises during the prayer time, and you are completely distracted.

The following is an article I wrote in 2016, and I thought it might help you today during these strange days of church. The church and home bear the responsibility to teach the next generation essential biblical concepts — especially in these Covid-19 days.

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In track there is a very important time during the 4×100 relay. No matter how fast one runner may have gone, everything hinges on the passing of the baton. Proper technique must be practiced and maintained no matter how tired the runner may be. The runner who is receiving the baton cannot go anywhere until it is in his/her hand, and the runner who is passing the baton is not considered successful until the next runner has it in their hand. The success of the handoff equals the success of the race.

In the Christian faith there is a handoff that takes place. One generation passes the baton of faith to the next generation. The children in the seats today will be preaching the sermons tomorrow. As a parent there is nothing more satisfying and that brings as much joy, as to see your children genuinely worshipping the Lord. However, as parents there is no one moment in time when the baton is passed; instead it happens a thousand times, one pass, and then another, and then another. One opportunity, that leads to another responsibility, that leads to raised expectations, etc. Slowly, over time, and then years, children grow in their faith and become leaders.

Not only is this passing the baton a parent’s responsibility it is also shared by the church as well. No matter your church’s position on children being present during the service (some leave half way through, some are out the entire time, some stay the whole time, etc.) there will be times when the children will be present for the service.

I begin with the assumption that whoever the teacher/preacher may be, that he desires to be understood and impact all in the room. Also, when the service is designed as a whole that the planners do not desire to leave anyone behind. The following are things that a worship leader or worship design team can implement with regard to children being present in a worship service.

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Sermons that utilize stories – specifically stories about the speakers childhood. This will help the children to see themselves or place themselves into the story.

Telling stories, putting principles and precepts into skin and bones, truths and ideas into real or imaginary people and situations excels as a means of communication. An abstraction may hold some interest, but embody it in a story and it becomes clear, understandable, and compelling.[1]

Avoid unnecessary theological terms.[2] If you can explain something or reword it to make it easier to understand, then why wouldn’t you? If there is a term that is important to explain the main teaching point then take the time to define the term and illustrate why it is important.

Include children in the service or story in some way. Ask them questions, mention their names in a positive way, etc. One could have them hold up a teaching object (ex. If the main idea was on “division” then they could hold up a splitting wedge. Or if the main idea was “service” then they could be asked to serve in some way that day during the service.) Of course knowing ahead of time which children are comfortable being in front of others and which ones are not is important.

Use actual objects to teach – things they can see and touch. The more common the object the better because when they see it again they will be very likely to connect your teaching idea to the object (ex. Toothbrush, zipper, shoe laces, etc.)

Give them an objective to complete – It helps everyone to know what is expected of them. If children can be given a worksheet to complete during the service it may focus their attention and allow them to know what you expect them to know at the end of the service. You may ask questions like, “What was your favorite song? Why? What was the main idea of the sermon? How could you do that this week?, etc”

Avoid fact finding questions, instead focus on wording the questions so that they will help them reach a goal or understanding. Remember you are not desiring to raise a bunch of knowledgeable Pharisees, but whole hearted followers of Christ. For example, don’t ask “How many disciples were in today’s Bible passage?” Instead ask, “How do you think Peter felt when Jesus said, ‘Get behind me Satan?'”

Make comments that relax the parents. Let’s face it, kids are at different stages of maturity (spiritual, mental, and physical). Their ability to sit still will vary greatly, but let me caution you to avoid assuming that because they were moving around that they were not listening. Also, don’t assume that because they were sitting still that they were listening.

A comment like “Children are welcome here. We know they may make noises, ask questions, or move around. . . it’s ok.” (the same is true for special needs families as well).

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You don’t have to water down theology or even “dumb down” the service just because the kids are there. But you need to pray and spend some extra time on how to make families feel more welcome and relaxed as they attend services together.

Also, a quick note to parents; just because your child may be drawing on the bulletin or crawling around under the chairs, don’t assume that they were not listening. Ask them on the way home what they heard, you will be amazed at what they can retain. As the church and the home work together on making our services more kid/family friendly we will make some great strides to passing off the baton. But don’t forget it’s not a one shot deal, it’s week after week, Sunday after Sunday of partnering together to reach the next generation for Christ.

Get ready, set, . . .Go

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[1] Roy Zuck. Teaching as Jesus Taught (Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Publishing), 306.

[2] I go into this specific topic in greater depth in other articles. Click here to read further.

Why Do You make What You Make? Thoughts from Quarantine.

During the Covid-19 quarantine I have made several projects. After reading Adam Savage’s book Every Tool is a Hammer, I came across a passage where he described his childhood creation of a cut out drawing of his stuffed animal. He describes this as “sponge and mirror,” which got me to thinking about how my projects were reflections of what I am feeling during this time. I ask the question, “Why did I build/make the things that I built/made? How are these projects “sponge and mirror” of my heart? What have you been doing during the quarantine? How are these things reflective of how you feel?