Drew Boswell

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Dealing With Irritating Personalities

I love the beach. I love the way the sand feels between my toes, the smell of the salty air, and the sound of the crashing waves on the surf. It is relaxing, reenergizing, and a place of solace and reflection.  Then kids came along and the beach as a place of vacation has become a place of annoyance.

We (meaning me) have to carry wagons, shelters, toys, towels, lotions, coolers, diapers (or the swimmy kind, I forget what they are called), and various other necessities that a family of six need in order to go to the beach (on vacation). Our dune destinations are always about two hundred yards from where we park the car.

Going into the breach between the dunes, and traversing the sand with all the equipment is a pain going in, but it is a dreaded nightmare coming out. There are many times where I have seriously thought about just leaving it, and buying all new “stuff” just so I won’t have to carry it out. But, my limited budget and the desire to dine at the local seafood “restaurant” always wins out.

Here’s a little secret you may not want to know. As I have swam in the sea, built castles out of sand, ran and played with my children, and watched the sun traverse the sky, there have been millions of tiny pieces of sand stuck to my body. What began as a necessity of vacation, by the end of the day has now become a source of great pain with each excruciating step (burdened under mounds of necessary stuff).

In an organization, say like a church, mistakes will be made and there will always be “technical difficulties.” But if we do not learn from our mistakes and continue to make them over and over, then like sand in the bathing suit, those little mistakes add up to one big excruciating pain.

One little misspoken word, or a job done haphazardly, a poorly worded e-mail, a forgotten task, and various other miscommunications begin to add up to disaster. One of these things alone will easily be overlooked (after all we are human), but continued and constant mistakes add up to poor management and lackluster leadership.

Irritant Personalities in Ministry

For our discussion let’s put a face to these “grains of sand” and look at various personalities:

1) The Hero – aka “adrenaline junkie”

Some people just get bored with the well-run machine. They enjoy waiting to the last minute, rushing in, and doing their task. And if there is an eventual snag (and there will always be a snag sooner or later), they enjoy the challenge of fixing it with seconds left on the clock. They feel that this is the time when they shine and are at their best. So either consciously or subconscious they create situations where they will be “challenged.”

These are great people when you are starting something new, and launching into new initiatives.  But left there too long, they will begin to sabotage the work because it has grown boring to them. But let’s face it, there are some jobs that need to be done every week, the exact same way, and if these tasks aren’t done, then it leads to extreme aggravation at the least, and disaster (people leaving the organization) at it’s worst. This person would do well to train others to do their task, so that they can focus on launching new initiatives and feel the rush of risk taking once more.

How does your church place individuals in ministry? And once a person is serving is there a non-obtrusive way to evaluate how they are doing and to let them know how they are doing? It may be that the adrenaline junkie is just in the wrong ministry position.

2) The I’m Too Busy – Poor Time Management

Everybody’s kids play some kind of ball, are involved in Scouts, dance, swimming, underwater basket weaving, or whatever is the suburban trend for today. People are involved in all kinds of civic organizations, volunteer fire departments, PTO, PTA, NRA, NBA, etc… Yet your church still needs leadership in order to function properly.

Is it so wrong to say to people, “I want you to make church and your position of leadership to take a higher priority than stuffing envelopes at your kids school, carpooling, or something else you need to say “no” to?” When you lead in an exemplary fashion you are making the church stronger, and therefore it can reach more for Christ.  When too many leaders, have too many commitments, and church slips down the priority list, then the church as a whole begins to show signs of irritation.

But inevitably mistakes continue to happen in your organization, and it becomes very apparent that people just are not putting in the time needed to do the position of leadership properly. Why? Because there is a world vying for their time, attention, sweat, concern, resources, and their heart.  If you look around, we live in a time where few people have “tons of time” on their hands.

So, you can’t ask the leader to step down, who would replace them? Instead, ask them to make their commitment to the church a higher priority.  You have to say “no” to some good things, to simply have the time for the greatest thing (i.e. the eternity of others[1], and laying up treasures for yourself[2]).

I will deal with calendaring in another entry, but encourage this person to get as organized as they possibly can, and plan as far ahead as they possibly can.  The problem may be that they need some help prioritizing, organizing time, and how to say “no.” Effective planning ahead requires a coordinated effort. So be prepared for when they ask you for your events on your calendar.

Poor time management (in relation to your organization) may also be a reflection on the value they see in their efforts toward the church. In other words, they may have a sense of obligation, but lack a sense of over-all vision.

If you can show them how important their ministry is to the over-all church they may be willing to give it more time. They may be highly organized and motivated for the soccer team because they are able to see immediate results. What results are you looking for that they can immediately see and that will have a high value for their lives?

3) Poor Leadership Performance

Honestly, the thing I dread the worst in ministry has to be talking with someone when they simply are not doing their job very well. I put it off, I try to give them time to turn things around, but in the end, I just know that if I don’t say something, things will only get worse.

This is one of the hardest skills of a leader – loving accountability. Low accountability is where a person is allowed to do whatever they wish, and perform their tasks at whatever level of professionalism they deem appropriate. The leader’s job is to maintain a high level of professionalism and even increase it as time passes.

If the over-all leader allows poor performance for a long enough period, then that area and the entire organization suffers. If you set the accountability too high then, the person will just quit which most of the time is undesirable.  You don’t want the person to quit, just to improve their performance because (among other things) it is causing serious irritation to the rest of the organization. Ministries should not operate independently but as an organic whole – where each needs the (healthy) other.

It is especially difficult for the leaders who do their ministry well and take pride in their work, only to have their work become discredited by another’s poor efforts. This eventually causes the high performing leaders to get frustrated and simply lower their standard of operating and transition the time that was spent on the church to something else; or worse case, quit.

So does your organization have an agreed upon standard of professionalism? What does it look like in the day-to-day operations? How are low performing individuals encouraged to raise their standard of performance? How are you training leaders to perform at ever increasing levels?

Taking a Shower at the Beach

Before we get into the car to head back home we stop by the showers and all rinse the sand off. The water is always freezing cold, but you don’t care because it gets the sand out from where it should not be. What a great feeling! The last fifty feet back to the car feel great; we’re cool, the sun in setting, we’re tired (the good kind of tired), and ready for a meal at that fancy seafood place. You have to wash the sand off, or it gets in the car and stays with you forever.

You have to deal with the irritants.


[1] Matthew 28:18ff.

[2] Matthew 6:19-21

“Where Are We Going?” Vision and the Leader (Part One)

I.         Defining Vision

A vision is a picture of the future of how the purpose or mission of the church is lived out in a particular community.  It is grounded in deep insight into people, the church, and God’s Word.

There is a difference between a vision and goals and objectives.  Goals and objectives are cold, abstract things that do not warm the heart.  Vision, however, is warm and has the potential to melt and motivate the heart. People are able to see how they play apart in the vision.

There is a difference between mission and vision.  A mission is what all churches or organizations are supposed to be doing, whereas a vision is a snapshot or picture of a specific church’s future. The mission comes from the head, the vision comes form the heart. A vision must be God’s vision and it is gleaned from Scripture.

So for our purposes, let’s define vision as “a clear mental image of a preferable future imparted by God to His chosen servants and is based upon an accurate understanding of God, self and circumstances.”

II.         How Vision Affects the Leader and the Church

David Goetz writes, “In Leadership’s study, pastors indicated that conflicting visions for the church was their greatest source of tension and the top reason they were terminated or forced to resign.” If there are competing visions for where the church or organization “should” be headed, there will inevitably be conflict. Again, vision involves the heart, and people are personally invested in the church.

A.            Vision Encourages Unity

When a ministry has a shared vision it changes how people relate to each other.  The language that people use goes from being “their” church to “our” church. It acts as a signal of where the ministry is going.  It effectively says that if you want to go where we are going then “get on board.”

1 Corinthians 12:20-22 “As it is, there are many parts, but one body.  The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,. . .”

Ephesians 4:15-16 “Instead speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ.  From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

Another form of unity that vision fosters is recruitment and retention in various ministries.  A ministry can present its’ clear vision and direction to potential volunteers and the people can then make up in their own minds if this vision matches their own understanding, gifts, and talents.

Also if a vision is shared with new people or guests of a church they can determine if this is something they would like to be apart of or not and make an informed decision.

In a ministry it is best if you have a wide variety of personalities and gifting that may be different for the leader.  In order for the ministry to be efficient and effective with all of these differences among individuals, all must hold a common vision.  Each person can appreciate and value the differences in others while working together toward the vision.

B.            Vision Encourages Forward Movement

Vision gets people moving.  Many times people get caught up in the business of their daily lives.  The mundane becomes the priority.  Nehemiah 1:3 “They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the providence and are in great trouble and disgrace.  The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” God gave Nehemiah a vision of rebuilding the walls and it drove him to action.  Vision, that is felt by the heart, drives people to take action which moves the church forward.

C.            Vision Gives Purpose to Ministry

People begin to understand that they are apart of something great that God is doing through their church and through them.  They begin to see their ministry as important and as having an impact on the community and even the world. It is the difference between the response of a person when asked “What do you do?” and they respond “I am just a teacher,” with “What do you do?” and they respond “I am changing the life course of children who will accomplish great things for Christ.”

D.            Vision Fosters Risk Taking

When the pastor casts a vision everyone knows what needs to be done.  Ministry then becomes an adventure because often times we know what needs to be done but we are not sure how it will be done.  Different methods are tried out and experimented with, people are encouraged to step out of their comfort zones to accomplish things greater than themselves or things that they never thought possible before.

Sometimes these things work and sometimes they don’t but the vision drives ministries toward the common goal.  People take risks in groups because the vision is worth the risk, and must be accomplished.

E.            Vision Encourages People to Follow

The leader, by casting a vision, is giving the people a glimpse into the future and how their lives can be changed and how others lives will changed by their being apart of this vision. People want to follow people who know the way, and they want their lives to be of significance. They want to follow people who can see where they are going.

Kouzes and Posner explain this as a driver driving in a fog bank.  When we drive into fog we slow down because we can’t see where we are going.  A vision then allows people to see what is up ahead, or down the road. The vision enables the organization to navigate through very treacherous terrain.

Everyone sees the mist but the leader can see the turns in the road and the town that is ahead.  In Nehemiah 2:5 King Artaxerxes heard Nehemiah’s vision and wanted to help him rebuild the walls by providing the various needs of the project.  The lost world will even listen to a godly leader who shows vision.

F.            Vision Improves Ministry Performance

As the leader paints a picture of the future, people begin to see themselves in the portrait.  In order for the vision to be accomplished or lived out people have to evaluate where they are now as far as ministry accomplishments, quality, and effectiveness.  The person also has to plan what the next step might be for the ministry to step into this vision.  Vision encourages people to evaluate their ministry and to seek improvement.

Whatever an organization does must constantly be evaluated through the lens of its vision.  They have to ask themselves “Why are we doing, what we are doing?”  Vision answers this question.

*this is part one of a three part series.

Click here to read part two.

Click here to read part three.

"Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts." Rick Warren

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