Drew Boswell

a place for us to share ideas, talk about life, and learn together.

Asking Hard Questions: an essential key to achieving success

Jesus regularly asked questions. He did this as a way of teaching the disciples and to help them understand who He was. When Jesus asked questions it also helped those around Him to understand what was important to Him.

  • What do you think about the Christ? Whose son is he? (Matthew 22:42)
  • Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? (Matthew 23:17-19)
  • When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up? (Mark 8:19)

Jesus’ ability to ask well crafted questions helped His followers to understand very deep and life changing spiritual lessons. As a leader, it is important to learn to ask the right questions, at the right time, to the right people. We call this evaluation. Questions help to accomplish various things in an organization but consider the following:

  1. Evaluation helps everyone on the team to define a “win.” In organizations there are as many definitions for “win” as there may be staff working for the organization. In church life you may have a staff, support staff, and volunteers who are all working for the church but they may all have a different expectations of success. If the church has a service on Sunday – “WIN!” If there is a new family that ventures through the door – “WIN!” If there are no sound or audio/video issues – “WIN!”

When you sit down and ask the hard questions then everyone is able to see what is important, just by what questions are asked. If the organization is not asking questions of evaluation, then that in itself speaks volumes. In sports, identifying a win is easy. Did we win the game? Anything else is a loss. Coaches and players are evaluated by how effective they are at putting points on the scoreboard and winning ball games.

In your organization, what is a “win?” Does this help you move toward something? Also, in sports each season is brand new. You get to start over. In church life, every year builds upon the previous one. There are no “mulligans.” Forward steps are made while pulling the weight of the church’s past. The first step in evaluation is to have an agreed upon “win” for whatever it is you are trying to evaluate. The older the church is, the more people have to be led to “this is a win.”

  1. Evaluation helps to align budgets with expected outcomes. To continue our sports metaphor, there are agreed upon rules, set number of players, and basic needed equipment (balls, bats, helmets, shoulder pads, etc.). It is obvious when a sports team spends money on things that don’t help it to win – because their winning, scoring, etc. is affected (or their new scoreboard is the size of a small planet).

If a football team decides not to hire an offensive coordinator and let a volunteer handle it when they have time, then they may see the drastic effects of this decision on the first game of the season. So while the gold rims on the team’s bus may look nice, they will lose because they put the money in the wrong place (and they probably are getting horrible gas mileage).

If a new coach is hired (because the previous coach was not winning) and they have a losing season, it won’t be too long before he/she will be replaced. Why? Not because he was not a nice guy, or loved sports, but because he was not leading the team to win ball games. Churches have different definitions for success, but you can determine what they feel is important by where they put their money. Are you utilizing your resources to accomplish the win? Are you wasting precious resources on things that are not helping you to “win?”

  1. Evaluation helps one to better manage time. There is the famous illustration of the college professor who displays an empty jar and has several large rocks that he then places in the jar. He then asks the class, “Is the jar full?” They say, “yes.” The professor then gets out pebble sized small stones and pours them over the larger stones. He then asks, “Is it full?” They say, “yes.” He then pulls out sand, etc… you get the idea. Evaluation helps us identify what are the large stones, the most important things in one’s life. Those large stones have to go in first, they won’t fit if you have already put the pebbles, sand, etc. in first. Evaluation asks, “What are the large stones and are they getting into my life first?”

I would argue that the most precious resource that you have is your time. If you want to get more out of your day, or accomplish those big goals you have set, then they have to be prioritized – they won’t fit once you have dealt with the constant urgency of the present. Evaluating helps the leader show where he/she feels time should be spent by the organization. Asking, “What is consuming most of our time?” and “is it being effective in helping us accomplish the win?” is incredibly important. What are the “big rocks?” and are we delegating/prioritizing the needed time to see that they are getting done?

  1. Evaluation helps to clarify mission. If everyone in an organization has a different definition of a “win,” then leaders will budget and calendar with their definition in mind. This difference leads to different goals relating to different missions and values within the same organization.

This leads to an “every man for themselves” mentality. If you need something then you compete for resources and personnel against other staff or leaders who are trying to accomplish their own mission. When you evaluate and ask the hard questions then resources are directed toward a common direction. Calendars are aligned to accomplish the same things. Mission begins to be clarified among the organization because the win has been defined and questions are being asked to determine if what you are doing is being effective at accomplishing it.

Luke 14:28-30 “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’” (ESV)

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Click here to read more articles written by Drew relating to asking questions and evaluation. 

I Need to Cut My Grass, Trim My Nose Hairs, and Wash the Dishes

f68a0d99a1df8b07bdec7a1a4d17a8b3As I drive up into my driveway I see them. They cry out as they reach for the sky. I know the longer I put it off the more the machine will struggle to bring them back down to size. The weekday evenings are filled with activity and shuttling children to one activity to the next. While we hurriedly pull in and then reverse back out – there they remain, taunting me.

Weekends are spent with even more activity and shuttling to activities. But eventually I begin to feel the burning stares of the neighbors and almost feel the breath of their loud sighs as if I alone am bringing down the value of their homes. Eventually we can’t find the dogs, and the children begin to carry machetes to go to the bus stop in the mornings.

I say to myself, “I have got to cut the grass!”

Cutting the grass is an activity that I enjoy and I do feel that to be a good neighbor I need to keep the bahia under control but where do I fit in time to do it? When I see manicured lawns I say, “wow,” and ask “where do they find time to make it look that good?”

During the summer months and the early fall I have a lingering box on my weekly “to do” list that often times does not get checked off; cutting the grass. I know I need to do it, but there are so many other things that seem to crowd out time to do it. There are only so many daylight hours of the day.

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Do you have a “cutting the grass” item on your “to do” list that keeps getting pushed to next week’s list again and again? For some it may be “go to the gym” (and actually work out), “eat right,” or “spend time with my kids.”

After the Christmas break last year my son Joshua wanted me to help him build a catapult for a school club that he wanted to join. We talked briefly about the requirements, drew out a design, and even made a mock up with a model. Then life stepped in and started stealing time. Weeks went by and every week continued to be filled with one activity and then another.

One important activity after another were placed on the calendar and religiously followed. Eventually we never ended up making the catapult – I still feel horrible about it. He has never brought it up and we are on to another school year but the reality is that I allowed other things to take priority over our plans. I missed an opportunity to have a special time with my son. To be honest I don’t even remember what those “important things” were that stole the moment away.

I have found that this is often the case – the immediate “crisis” robs the long-term truly important items. I would not put Joshua’s project on the same lines as “get a haircut” or “paint the house” but if things are continued to be put off until another day then people will eventually start calling you “honey” from behind and your neighbors will finally riot with pitchforks saying, “kill the beast who doesn’t cut his grass!”

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So how do keep things under control where our homes are (somewhat) clean and neat, our personal hygiene is presentable, and our children know we love them? May I suggest the following:

  • Everything has to have a priority order. Your children, spouse, and home are more important than anyone else’s – because they are yours. You are responsible for them, no one else. So, therefore, your priorities will be different than your friend’s. So when life happens, you have to measure this “crisis” in light of how it will affect what you alone are responsible for.

If it is happening to someone else it is always a “priority” and a “crisis” for them – but it may not be for you, and it doesn’t have to be. How many times do you think you can miss your kid’s ball games, performances, wedding anniversaries, etc. to rush off for someone else’s “crisis” before your family will know that they are not very high on your priority list?

What about the grass? Well, you may be getting an idea for why my grass is knee high and there are dishes in the sink.

Sit down. What I am about to say may cause you to become light headed. Ok. Are you ready?

  • It is ok to say “No.”

. . . . .ok are you back with us? Here, put this cool rag on your head. Yes other’s priorities want an answer. Others want you to do stuff, constantly. But, there will come a time, when they will want you to place an item higher on the priority list than it should be (above family, wife, children, etc.) and you will know that you should say “no.” It’s ok. They may even get mad, but at the end of the day your kid’s won’t resent you and you won’t be sleeping on the couch.

  • Create margin in your life. I am a pastor, so my calling in life is to minister to other people. I am expected to be there during times of crisis in people’s lives, and I am glad to be there. I am honored to be there, and for people to call me during times of crisis. But honestly, this doesn’t happen every day.

But when it does happen, I need to run to my car, and leave. For those times when this does happen, it has to be measured against many times when I was there. But not just there. I need to be engaged, present, and participating in what is going on in the family. When I do this, they will understand that when a crisis does hit, then I need to go. For some it may be business trips, sales calls, etc. so when you need to be away – let that time away be balanced with other time spent with them. Don’t overcrowd your schedule and “to do” list. Give yourself time for those emergencies.

So what if they don’t happen? Then cut the grass.

  • Give yourself a break. Seriously. So what if your grass is getting high, there are dishes in the sink, or the beds are not made? Life will continue, the earth will continue to rotate, and “this too will pass.”

Your kids will not always be with you, they will not always come to you when they scrape their knee, and eventually will drive themselves to wherever they need to go. The schedule will eventually slow down when they drive off to college or walk down the aisle. There will be days later for clean houses, manicured lawns, and trimmed nose hairs – for now I have to go. It’s time for Cub Scouts.

 

"Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts." Rick Warren

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