I have had several people ask me about Kimberly and my recent mission trip to Honduras. I had intended to journal while I was there but due to poor internet connection and a busy schedule I was unable to do so. And to be honest the experience was so emotionally overwhelming that my entries would have been trite and dishonest (only because I would be writing something just to get something out). I was asked by others on the team what I thought about the experience while we were on the field and I honestly could not adequately explain in a few words the emotions and feeling I was experiencing. I really can’t describe (this coming from a person who communicates for a living) what it was like, but I can put the feelings into the form of a few stories. So the next series of entries will be me trying to share a life changing experience with you.

I will begin by telling you of my experience of the toddler house. The children at Orphanage Emmanuel are divided into age groups and gender, but the youngest children have the boys and girls together, where they live in age graded housing. Kimberly and I on this particular morning were serving in the clinic (due to an outbreak of chicken pox) and because of fever and diarrhea the clinic was running low on diapers. So I was sent to the Toddler House to get some more and bring them back to the clinic.

As I approached the Toddler House I was first amazed at how orderly and clean everything was. All of the clothes were folded and sorted by color, and then stacked into cabinets. There were about six older girls from the orphanage who were helping a staff member. I approached the woman in charge of the home and explained why I was there and she began to talk with the other girls about where to get the diapers, and was giving them instructions. It was at this time when the children there became aware of my presence.

They all began to rush me, hugging my leg, pulling on my hands, pulling on shirt, and all speaking Spanish. I couldn’t understand their words but I understood their hearts. These children wanted me to hold them, hug them, touch them, just love them. I began to think about my three year old son Isaac. What if he were here, and had no mother, no father, no one to tell him how wonderful he is.

It was as if the air around me began to get thick, and I felt my heart in my throat. As they were pulling me I began to weep. All of these children, and all they want is someone to hug them, smile at them, hold their hand, and tell them that they are loved. The staff love them, but they are only a hand full in comparison to 415 orphans, and their focus is on clothing, preparing meals, organizing their day, etc. . . They need volunteer teams to come in and to love the children. So, my job for 10 days was to simply love children.

The first thing that I came to realize was that I went to Honduras to simply love, hug, smile at, and hold hands with children. My background is that of an organizer and “fixer.” I work at the executive level of a church — I put out fires, and deal with problems. In Honduras there was nothing for me to “do” but love children. This filled my heart with joy like nothing I have done in a long time. We make life so complicated, there it became very clear and uncomplicated. God said to me, “Drew, just love the children.” Even now this brings tears to my eyes. Just love the children.

I had some PC friends as they left the church service today just shook their heads with disgust. Not only have I switched from PCs to Macs but I am quickly becoming zealous. After all, if you are going to do something then be obsessive about it, right? My friends were shaking their heads in disgust because not only have I purchased an ipad, but I was actually preaching from it. So this is a quick blog entry for anyone out there who gives presentations and is considering using an ipad for that purpose.

Out of the box it quickly connects with a wi-fi source and everything (just about) has to be done through itunes wirelessly. So in order to get my word documents from my Macbook Pro to the Ipad I had to set up a Drop Box account (online data storage) and pull it down when I need it. The drawback is that you can not edit it, only view it. But it automatically resizes the document to fit the screen and you can do some fine adjustment with your fingers on the screen. So today it worked really well. There are other apps available — Evernote, for example. But after looking around I like Dropbox the best. Also, you can not store Word documents on it (as far as I can tell), so you have to have internet access at the location where you will give your presentation. This is becoming less and less of an issue as time goes by.

My immediate issue is that after about 2-3 minutes of me talking (and not touching it) it cut off. This is nerve wracking for a presenter (or preacher) who is heavily dependent upon notes, only to lose them. No amount of touching the screen will turn it back on. You have to touch the “on” button and go through the process of opening it up again. This happened three times while I was preaching. So this week I will see if there are any apps (like Caffeine), that will keep it awake.

I also have seen some nice looking ipad “pulpits.” But instead of spending the $600-800, I am going to attempt to make one myself.

9-7-10
I have discovered on the “settings” and under general you can set the power down time to “never.” this should deal with the lost notes mentioned earlier.

Today in our church service at Daybreak Community Church we introduced a new sermon series entitled “Consequences.” It is a journey through the book of Lamentations. The book of Lamentations is not a warning not to sin, but it tells us how to deal with the consequences of our sin once they lay upon us as “a yoke.” It was written by a person (I believe it to be Jeremiah) who had gone though “the Day of the Lord,” and lived to write about it.

We discussed how God’s people became aware of their condition and how it was brought upon them by their sin. We also said that they were remembering what life as like when they had the favor of God and His blessings) which were now distant objects in their rear view mirrors. How many times have we ever asked the question, “Why did I do that?” So in Lamentations 1 they begin to cry out to God and recognize their condition was brought on by their own rebelliousness and that their only hope of a different life was God and his grace poured out upon them.

Everyone has sinned in such a way that they have some consequence that they now live with. Sometimes this consequence is more readily visible than others. Some may not be able to readily hide their consequence. For others, they may dream horrible dreams, have panic attacks, or some other condition brought on because of the consequence they carry.

We discussed how God’s people were broken over their sin. In Lamentations 1:20 they say, “Look, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my stomach churns;
my heart is wrung within me,
because I have been very rebellious.”

So what does it mean to be broken over our sin?

1. To stop playing games with God. There are so many games that people play with God. False repentance, emotional outcries that are void of any heart change, asking for forgiveness knowing that in a matter of hours the sin will be repeated, etc… But in this passage the judgment has fallen upon them and they are done with playing games. Read the passage and see if there is any hint of being “religious.” They are far from playing religious games with God, they desperately want the weight of their sin to be lifted and for something to be done about the condition they find their lives in.

2. They are crying out to God and have stopped trying to get help from other places. In chapter one they go to their false gods (called “lovers”) and those false gods rejected them. They have fallen so far that no one around them respects them or in any way wants to help them. The “gods” they had left God for, now reject them. Their only hope is for God to have mercy upon them. We are truly broken over our sin when we realize that there is no help anywhere but in God alone.

3. They acknowledge that their hearts are broken over their sin, how they have grieved God and now cry out for His mercy. In the story of Jacob in Genesis 32:22 ff helps us to better understand being broken over our sin. (go ahead read it). Because of this encounter with God, Jacob would always walk with a limp for the rest of his life. Every step would remind him of how he had seen God face-to-face and God had spared his life.

This handicap would always remind him, with every step he took, of his rebellion and God’s grace. Jacob had broken his life to pieces – he betrayed his father, his brother, and left his mother. He had several wives and they hated each other. His life was a mess. So God meets him in the desert, and wrestles with him.

Jacob recognizes that God has met him there, so he refuses to let God go, until he blesses him. Jacob’s life forever changes in that all night wrestling match because he was broken. Do you realize how you have broken your life to pieces? (We all have, it’s not a secret). Do you know that there is a gracious and loving God who loves you enough to break you?

God’s people in Lamentations one, when they say “I have been very rebellious” are agreeing with God over the condition of their sin and they are crying out for mercy and grace from God. They are not playing game (asking for forgiveness knowing in a few moments they would do it again) – instead they were broken over what they had done, and were pleading with God for His grace.