Drew Boswell

a place for us to share ideas, talk about life, and learn together.

Parenting Under Attack “The Workaholic Parent” 1 Samuel 2:22-36

Parents are constantly under attack. They are bombarded by marketers trying to get them to buy the right kind of crib, straighten their kid’s teeth, the trendiest toy, or even feeling guilty about saving for college. The world feels like it is closing in when their kids seem to struggle or even just keeping up with the hectic schedule of events. Not to mention bills, sicknesses, or family disasters.

There is also a very real spiritual attack against parents. These forces are trying to keep parents from having an impact on the character development of their kids. They are working against having solid and secure families.

In light of this very real attack, the Bible gives parents truth and tools to fight back. During this series we will look at biblical parents who didn’t always get it right, and how God can use their example to turn your family around. You can stand up and succeed while under attack.

It’s tough out there. Let us arm you for the battle.

Easter at Daybreak

Music is a gift from God that moves the soul like nothing else. This Sunday Matt C. our worship director wrote a new song regarding Christ’s life, death, and resurrection, and it was very powerful. The praise team did an awesome job, of leading us into a worshipful time with the Lord. Our children also sang a special, guided by a wonderful sister in Christ Pam. G. They met for several practices and finally had their Easter debut. My kids listened to a cd of the song every night for weeks, and enjoyed practicing with their friends and eating pizza at rehearsals.

This Sunday, we began a new preaching series entitled “Parenting Under Attack” in which we will look at parents from the Bible (where they got it right, and where they got it wrong). Thank goodness they didn’t always get it right, or I would feel pretty bad.

Understanding Roles of Church and Home (Part Two; Develop a Definition of Succes)

Develop a Definition of Success

With any strategy, a teacher must have some way of knowing when she is reaching or has achieved her objectives. The church must, therefore, have a simple way of acknowledging whether it is being successful or not. Barna suggests three such standards for defining success and the author will give another. The first is “widespread parental involvement in the spiritual development of the children.”[1] This is a simple way for determining whether the children’s ministry is successful or not. One could simply take the parents of the participating children and determine how many of them are involved. The second is “strategically equipping parents.” One could observe how many equipping opportunities are available for parents, and of those available opportunities, how many parents took part in the training. A third measure of success would be “the transformed life of the child.” This measure is very subjective because it is hard to determine what is going on in the heart of a child by watching the behavior in the limited time a teacher has with the child during a class or other activity.

Proverbs 4:23 states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life.” The way a person acts is an expression, a wellspring, or overflow of the heart. The heart determines behavior. Mark 7:21–23 says, “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean.’” Luke 6:45 says, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” A strategy of the church must address the heart (what is going on inside) along with expressed outward behavior.

In addressing a similar issue Tripp says, “A biblical approach to educating children involves two elements that you weave together. One element is rich, full communication. The other is the rod or correction (See Proverbs 23:13-19, 22, 26.)”[2] The didactical writings of the Bible, specifically the Law of the Old Testament were given to make the people of God see the impossibility of keeping it and to cry out to God for mercy.[3] The law must be followed (telling the truth, honoring one’s parents, etc.), but it is only when one’s bend is toward God that they can keep the intention of the law which is a dependence upon God. If that bend is away from God, a person becomes like the Pharisees. Matthew 23:27–28 references this type of outwardly religious but inwardly rebellious person; “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” If a church focuses only on correcting outward behavior, but does not communicate enough with the children to determine what is transpiring in the heart, they have not successfully ministered to children. This is not a suggestion that the church should “bear the rod” of correction but only that the church should emphasize relationship and communication in its educational endeavors with children.

The Pharisees looked religious and obedient to God on the outside, but their hearts were far from God. The measure of success should not be proper behavior alone (sitting quietly in their seat, saying “yes ma’am or no ma’am,” etc.) but a heart reliant upon and sold out for God. Discipline in the classroom and the home must be carried out to show specifically where the child has displeased God. It is this process of showing the child, according to the Bible, why what they have done is wrong that the child makes the decision to follow God and not the world. If the parent or church stops at only correcting behavior alone, and giving no explanation of why a standard of behavior is required, then they are raising Pharisees not true worshippers of Christ.[4] Again, the earlier this process begins, the easier it is for the child’s heart to be bent toward God and away from their natural heart’s desire to sin.[5] This is the heart of Deuteronomy 6 where it discusses a constant conversation with the child. This ideally is to be accomplished by the parents during their daily living, not one hour on Sunday morning by a teacher.

Romans 1:18–20 states, “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness,  since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.” In the language of Romans, a child will either respond to God by faith or they suppress the truth in unrighteousness. In his rebellion, he will actually hide the truth from himself. It is the parent’s and the church’s responsibilities to guide the child toward faith in God (through teaching and correction) and to point out when the child is worshipping something other than God, thereby suppressing the truth in his life.

A fourth way of defining success is to have a diagnostic test of some kind that would effectively measure the knowledge of the child as he progresses through the years and stages of the ministry. One such test could be a life application challenge given in the classroom. For example, if the lesson is on “Spending Time with God,” the life application challenge could be for the child to have a daily devotional time. The teacher could then ask the child in a nonjudgmental fashion, “Did you have a devotional time this week?” When this information is received and reviewed, it can become the goal of the church to increase the total average over time by trying different strategies. Actual numbers and data give the leadership and parents something to work with as a basis to project realistic goals. Regarding this issue Barna has said,

In order to meaningfully operationalize these (or other) desired outcomes, we start by tying our search for clues (for spiritual growth) to the means of measurement. Here are some means through which we can evaluate outcomes:

  • Formal evaluation tools – written tests, oral tests, essays, competitions and homework assignments.
  • Self-report evaluation tools – surveys, inventories and profiles.
  • Conversation and dialogue – language used, reasoning skills, foundational worldview expressed and interactive engagement.
  • Observable behavior or perspectives – attendance, volunteerism, invitations, donations, professed beliefs, memorized beliefs, physical condition and body language.
  • Inferences from choices – character of friends, media preferences, spending habits, social activity, attire and appearance.[6]

Assessment can be formal or informal. At the more formal extreme are written tests of ability and knowledge. On the informal extreme would be casual observation.  Both of these measurements can be used together to give an administrator a more complete picture.

[1] Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions, 101.

[2] Tripp, Shepherding A Child’s Heart, 74.

[3] Rom 3:20

[4] John 4:24

[5] Ps 51:5

[6] Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions, 130.

Understanding Roles of the Church and Home (Part One; A Definition)

Lately I have been thinking about the strategy that the church uses as a means to encourage the spiritual formation of others, specifically children. The following is the beginning of a series of articles that attempts to understand how we can do this.

Before any effective and biblical strategy can be developed, the church must understand its role and how it relates to the role of the home. If the church does all the intentional spiritual teaching and the parents do little or no intentional spiritual teaching, then the child suffers. This reliance of the parent upon the church is not only a poor use of time, but also an abdication of their God given responsibility.

Children are highly influenced by the environment around them. Parents spend far more time with their children than the typical Children’s Ministry teacher on Sunday morning. If a child attends a school, then he is further influenced by that school’s philosophy of education and by their peers around them. The Children’s Ministry teacher spends far less time with the student than any other major influence in their lives. However, if the parents are relying on a one hour a week Sunday morning program to educate their children in Christian foundations, the church has to fight against these other influences that have far more access to the child.

Barna has said, “When a church—intentionally or not—assumes a family’s responsibilities in the arena of spiritually nurturing children, it fosters an unhealthy dependence upon the church to relieve the family of its biblical responsibility”[1] The church and the home are partners. The home bears most, if not all, of the responsibility and the church bears the biblical mandate to supplement that teaching and to give biblical guidance. Since there is this preferred symbiotic relationship between the church and the home, it would be in the best interest of each to work together. Also, the church has no oversight regarding the activities the child does when they are away from the church classroom. It is the parent’s responsibility to have oversight of the child and to keep him safe.

Fields, while relating specifically to youth ministry, gives several ideas on how to bring the home and church together. Developing a growing relationship between the church’s educational team and the parents is very important. Fields says, “It is impossible to create healthy teamwork with people you don’t know.”[2] As this relationship develops, parents can inform the teachers of issues that are going on in the student’s individual lives in times of difficulty. As the children grow older, the parent’s control and influence will decrease. This may bring feelings of fear, inadequacy, abandonment, or failure. By working together the church has invaluable background about the students, and the parents have a support network. Another benefit of working together is that the weekly flow of life can be better managed. The home and the church can work together to ensure that both calendars are balanced.[3] If a children’s ministry has an event planned and desires for it to be a success, then it needs to make sure the parents are aware of it and thoroughly informed well in advance. Many precious resources have been wasted, when a church event or program is planned and few people show up. The same is true for the home. Once parents are committed (financially or personally) to an activity, they feel as though they miss out on a much desired church activity.

[1] Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions, 81.

[2] Fields, Purpose Driven Youth Ministry, 254.

[3] Ibid., 255.

Understanding Roles of the Church and Home (Part One)


Lately I have been thinking about the strategy that the church uses as a means to encourage the spiritual formation of others, specifically children. The following is the beginning of a series of articles that attempts to understand how we can do this (better).

Before any effective and biblical strategy can be developed, the church must understand its role and how it relates to the role of the home. If the church does all the intentional spiritual teaching and the parents do little or no intentional spiritual teaching, then the child suffers. This reliance of the parent upon the church is not only a poor use of time, but also an abdication of their God given responsibility. Children are highly influenced by the environment around them. Parents spend far more time with their children than the typical Children’s Ministry teacher on Sunday morning. If a child attends a school, then he is further influenced by that school’s philosophy of education and by their peers around them. The Children’s Ministry teacher spends far less time with the student than any other major influence in their lives. However, if the parents are relying on a one hour a week Sunday morning program to educate their children in Christian foundations, the church has to fight against these other influences that have far more access to the child.

Barna has said, “When a church—intentionally or not—assumes a family’s responsibilities in the arena of spiritually nurturing children, it fosters an unhealthy dependence upon the church to relieve the family of its biblical responsibility” The church and the home are partners. The home bears most, if not all, of the responsibility and the church bears the biblical mandate to supplement that teaching and to give biblical guidance. Since there is this preferred symbiotic relationship between the church and the home, it would be in the best interest of each to work together. Also, the church has no oversight regarding the activities the child does when they are away from the church classroom. It is the parent’s responsibility to have oversight of the child and to keep him safe.

Fields, while relating specifically to youth ministry, gives several ideas on how to bring the home and church together. Developing a growing relationship between the church’s educational team and the parents is very important. Fields says, “It is impossible to create healthy teamwork with people you don’t know.” As this relationship develops, parents can inform the teachers of issues that are going on in the student’s individual lives in times of difficulty. As the children grow older, the parent’s control and influence will decrease. This may bring feelings of fear, inadequacy, abandonment, or failure. By working together the church has invaluable background about the students, and the parents have a support network. Another benefit of working together is that the weekly flow of life can be better managed. The home and the church can work together to ensure that both calendars are balanced. If a children’s ministry has an event planned and desires for it to be a success, then it needs to make sure the parents are aware of it and thoroughly informed well in advance. Many precious resources have been wasted, when a church event or program is planned and few people show up. The same is true for the home. Once parents are committed (financially or personally) to an activity, they feel as though they miss out on a much desired church activity.

(blogger won’t let me add footnotes, so there are many assumptions above that I will footnote elsewhere.)

"For by grace you have been saved through faith." Ephesians 2:8

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