Drew Boswell

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Communicating Successfully

One of the greatest challenges many leaders face is effective communication between the leader and those whom he leads. We live in a technological world of constant communication with cell phones, texts, twitter and facebook. We can know what you ate for dinner, but do we know what truly motivates your soul? We understand that you have changed a part of our organization, but do you understand how this change affects my family?
It is difficult to translate a new concept across multiple layers of organization, different ages, life experiences, etc… that includes passion, explanation, vision, and reasons for this “new direction.” Everyone has the ability to take something that is said and add his or her own “understanding” to the communicated items.
So not only does the leader have to communicate an idea, but he must also try and predict how others may respond and adjust the communication accordingly. So as we enter into a discussion regarding communication let’s start with a definition: “Communication is the process we go through to convey understanding from one person or group to another (Genesis 11, Matthew 13:51, Mark 8:13-21.)”
Generally there is a process that one goes through to pass on this understanding:
1. Develop a clear concept of the idea or feeling to be communicated.
2. Choose the right words and actions to convey the idea or feeling.
3. Become aware of the surrounding communication barriers and work at minimizing them.
4. Absorb the transmitted information by listening to the words and observing the actions.
5. Translate the words and actions.
6. Develop correct ideas and/or feelings.
But in any organization there is always the potential or eventual conflict that results from either poorly communicated ideas, or persons who add in too much of their own information to the communication and the end result is conflict.
Organizational Conflict
“Open and hostile opposition occurring as a result of differing viewpoints.” It is possible to have a “disagreement” without hostility. But this definition involves hostility. Our focus today will focus on how to deal with conflicts directly resulting from conflicting communication.

Negative Results
• Conflict comes from our own selfish desires and passions (James 4:1)
• Conflict causes us to fabricate and magnify faults and weaknesses in others (Ad Hominem).
• Conflict creates division within the organization (will you participate?)
• Conflict causes us to expend our energies on non-productive activities (Romans 12:18).
Positive Results
• Disagreement can lead to individual and organizational growth (Proverbs 27:17).
• Disagreement can reveal the need for change (Proverbs 18:15).
• Disagreement can help make us more tolerant of opposing views (Proverbs 23:12).
So the business meeting didn’t go the way you thought, you have received an e-mail from an angry person in your organization, or certain people won’t return your phones calls – there it is conflict staring you right in the face. So how do we deal with it?
Methods of Dealing with Conflict
1. Avoid it, retreating from it. You can always just run away.
2. Attempting to avoid it by circumventing major issues and focusing on minor issues. You find yourself saying things like, “we are meeting tonight to discuss the brand name of the toilet paper in the stalls.”
3. Dealing without side issues.
4. Identifying the real issues of the conflict and working your way through them to a satisfactory resolution.
Yes, you guess it – this is the right answer (not the easy answer). It takes experience, spiritual discernment, and understanding of sinful human nature to sometimes identify the “real” issues of the conflict. Believe it or not, people will not always tell you why they are angry (they may not even know why), won’t come to meetings, aren’t returning e-mails, etc… So the challenge is get past the false issues and move into the true root of the conflict.
Scriptural Approach to Confrontation
1. Make Sure that you are dealing with facts, not guesses or hearsay (Deuteronomy 19:15).
2. Always make the initial confrontation in private between you and the person involved (Proverbs 25:9-10; Matthew 18:15).
3. When you try to resolve the conflict privately if the other person involved refuses to resolve the problem, take someone with you and try again (Matthew 18:16). The goal is restoration.
4. If the person continues to resist resolving the conflict, you may need to dissolve the relationship (Matthew 18:17). But this is another chance for the person to repent.
• The biblical picture of “restoration” is one of setting a broken bone. It is painful but the ultimate goal is healing and putting things back as they should be. Also, be aware that you may not always be the one setting the bone – it might be you who are in need of having their legs broken and reset. Ouch.
• In leadership, people are always important. Therefore, seeking to restore relationships should always be a top priority. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes it doesn’t – but you must do all that is within your ability to restore the relationship.

Note: the basic premise of this article was borrowed from class notes of Dr. Ken Coley at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in a class entitled Church Management and Administration in 1998.

Communicating Successfully

One of the greatest challenges many leaders face is effective communication between the leader and those whom he leads. We live in a technological world of constant communication with cell phones, texts, twitter and facebook. We can know what you ate for dinner, but do we know what truly motivates your soul? We understand that you have changed a part of our organization, but do you understand how this change affects my family?

It is difficult to translate a new concept across multiple layers of organization, different ages, life experiences, etc… that includes passion, explanation, vision, and reasons for this “new direction.” Everyone has the ability to take something that is said and add his or her own “understanding” to the communicated items.

So not only does the leader have to communicate an idea, but he must also try and predict how others may respond and adjust the communication accordingly. So as we enter into a discussion regarding communication let’s start with a definition: “Communication is the process we go through to convey understanding from one person or group to another (Genesis 11, Matthew 13:51, Mark 8:13-21.)”

Generally there is a process that one goes through to pass on this understanding:
1.    Develop a clear concept of the idea or feeling to be communicated.
2.    Choose the right words and actions to convey the idea or feeling.
3.    Become aware of the surrounding communication barriers and work at minimizing them.
4.    Absorb the transmitted information by listening to the words and observing the actions.
5.    Translate the words and actions.
6.    Develop correct ideas and/or feelings.

But in any organization there is always the potential or eventual conflict that results from either poorly communicated ideas, or persons who add in too much of their own information to the communication and the end result is conflict.

Organizational Conflict
“Open and hostile opposition occurring as a result of differing viewpoints.” It is possible to have a “disagreement” without hostility. But this definition involves hostility.  Our focus today will focus on how to deal with conflicts directly resulting from conflicting communication.

Negative Results
•    Conflict comes from our own selfish desires and passions (James 4:1)
•    Conflict causes us to fabricate and magnify faults and weaknesses in others (Ad Hominem).
•    Conflict creates division within the organization (will you participate?)
•    Conflict causes us to expend our energies on non-productive activities (Romans 12:18).

Positive Results
•    Disagreement can lead to individual and organizational growth (Proverbs 27:17).
•    Disagreement can reveal the need for change (Proverbs 18:15).
•    Disagreement can help make us more tolerant of opposing views (Proverbs 23:12).

So the business meeting didn’t go the way you thought, you have received an e-mail from an angry person in your organization, or certain people won’t return your phones calls – there it is conflict staring you right in the face. So how do we deal with it?

Methods of Dealing with Conflict
1.    Avoid it, retreating from it.  You can always just run away.
2.    Attempting to avoid it by circumventing major issues and focusing on minor issues.  You find yourself saying things like, “we are meeting tonight to discuss the brand name of the toilet paper in the stalls.”
3.    Dealing without side issues.
4.    Identifying the real issues of the conflict and working your way through them to a satisfactory resolution.

Yes, you guess it – this is the right answer (not the easy answer). It takes experience, spiritual discernment, and understanding of sinful human nature to sometimes identify the “real” issues of the conflict. Believe it or not, people will not always tell you why they are angry (they may not even know why), won’t come to meetings, aren’t returning e-mails, etc… So the challenge is get past the false issues and move into the true root of the conflict.

Scriptural Approach to Confrontation
1.    Make Sure that you are dealing with facts, not guesses or hearsay (Deuteronomy 19:15).
2.    Always make the initial confrontation in private between you and the person involved (Proverbs 25:9-10; Matthew 18:15).
3.    When you try to resolve the conflict privately if the other person involved refuses to resolve the problem, take someone with you and try again (Matthew 18:16). The goal is restoration.
4.    If the person continues to resist resolving the conflict, you may need to dissolve the relationship (Matthew 18:17). But this is another chance for the person to repent.

•    The biblical picture of “restoration” is one of setting a broken bone. It is painful but the ultimate goal is healing and putting things back as they should be.  Also, be aware that you may not always be the one setting the bone – it might be you who are in need of having their legs broken and reset. Ouch.

•    In leadership, people are always important. Therefore, seeking to restore relationships should always be a top priority.  Sometimes it ends well, sometimes it doesn’t – but you must do all that is within your ability to restore the relationship.

Note: the basic premise of this article was borrowed from class notes of Dr. Ken Coley at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in a class entitled Church Management and Administration in 1998.

Boswell Vacation 2010


The Boswell’s headed out on vacation about two weeks ago and it is beginning to come to a close. We began our journey by spending time with family in AL, celebrated Joshua and Caleb’s eight birthday. We then headed even further south to Port St. Joe, FL and stayed at my parents beach house. We went to the beach, went fishing, watched movies, ate seafood a couple of times, and traveled to Panama City, FL to Shipwreck Island Water Park.

It has been very uneventful and rest was had by all. Having been away from the deep south for over 15 years I see things that make me laugh that I perhaps would not have seen otherwise. For instance, an Exxon station had put their pickled pig lips on sale for $1.99 and the church we visited was very traditional (but worshipful).

As the time of vacation begins to come to a close I am beginning to feel the itch to get back to work. I noticed during my morning walk this morning that I had put my cell phone on again (which was off until now). I also have avoided wearing shoes but I guess those have to go back on now. sighhhh. The family had some much needed extended time together and have had some wonderful bonding time.

Staying unplugged has been difficult. Where we stay there is no internet except at a local coffee shop. So I would make a daily early walk to check e-mail, write, and have my devotion. So I was not able to post pictures on facebook as I would have liked — but perhaps it was for the best.

I am thankful to my church that allows me to have this extended time away every year, and for men who God has brought to Daybreak that can preach and cover the services while I am away.

I am thankful for my family that truly loves me, my wife, and kids. So I am leaving this trip somewhat rested, a little tan, and a deeper feeling of thankfulness for the blessings from the Lord.

Decision Making and Problem Solving

Inevitably when you are a leader you will have to deal with problems. How a leader deals with these troubling circumstances and leads through them is what determines if he/she is a good or “desperately in need of improvement” leader. If you have ever agreed to hold a position where others in the room look to you for what to do when things go wrong then you need to have at least thought about a process for dealing with these problems. In large organizations they call them “contingency plans” but most of us don’t have shelves of three-ring binders we can flip through when disaster comes upon us.

One of the best skills a leader can posses is dealing with problems before they arise (through prayer, advanced planning, training, etc.) but eventually now matter how much you plan there will be times when problems find their way into your life and you have to deal with them.

First and foremost a spiritual leader desires to know the will of God’s concerning what directions or actions they should take.  So as one prays, studies Scripture, and contemplates the circumstances consider the following:

Questions to Answer
Am I committed to doing God’s will in this situation? (Romans 12:1-2)
Sometimes the answer is easy and His will is plain, but we are not willing to do it. It may require us to confront someone who will have their feelings hurt, or we know they will become angry, or we may even lose our job (or place of ministry, or at least we think we will).

Sometimes the decision is not so clear, but we must commit to doing God’s will in each step that we know what to do, and when His will is clear. Sometimes as a leader we lay ourselves down “as a living sacrifice” and be willing to “take a hit” so that Christ’s name may be lifted high. Strong personalities, or strong willed people who feel their way is best (instead of the given direction from the leader) will try to take the organization in a direction that may be away from the expressed will of God and toward what benefits them personally. So opposing these people may be difficult for the leader and even his family. So we begin the process by asking how committed is the leader to following God’s will; is he willing to do whatever it takes to see God’s name and will held as the top priority?

Are the desires of my heart to pursue this particular course? (Psalm 37:4)
This Psalm says that when we delight ourselves with the things of God, He will give us the desires of our heart. So our main objective as a leader is to see that God is glorified and that His name is lifted up. When we lead people to do this as well, then it should bring delight to our hearts. Our desire then becomes seeing others give God glory with their lives.

Is the problem something that you feel needs to be fixed (do you even care about it)? Or would it be best to pass off (i.e. delegate) this problem to someone who is passionate about it, or who “has a heart” for that area? If you say, “This is something that we can’t ignore. Something must be done about this,” then make sure your heart is lining up with the commandments and teachings of Scripture.

Does God provide the power to continue working on the project and make the necessary decisions to achieve it? (Isaiah 26:3)
This passage from Isaiah discusses how God gives the mind peace as the person trusts in God. So the leader must make decisions that result from prayer and contemplation but ultimately result in a step of faith where he/she trusts that God will take care of him/her and work through them in the situation.  It is easy for others to second guess decisions after time has passed and the problem has passed. But what makes one a leader  is that they must make a decision in the midst of the storm. Trust God once you feel you have heard from Him and pronounced a decision.

Also, what makes a spiritual leader different from a secular leader is that they rely on the Holy Spirit for things not provided to those who do not believe and place a saving trust in Christ (such as strength, insight, faith, peace, resources, etc).  Does the leader have a sense of peace as they work through the process that the most current decision is the right one?

In determining what to do next in the midst of a problem it is helpful to define some terms.

Definitions
Decision-making; this is choosing between alternatives. Often times the alternatives are not good and bad, but good and good,  or good and best.

Problem solving; this is the process of formulating and implementing a plan of action to eliminate a difficulty. Problem solving tends to deal with internal issues.

Conditions; these are currently uncontrollable circumstances superimposed on the situation from outside. A considerable length of time is required to change conditions noticeably. Conditions tend to deal with external issues.

Problem Solving Process

1. Determine if the situation is a problem or a condition.  Is the situation coming from outside of the organization or the inside?

2. Clearly state the problem.

3. Determine what will be gained or lost in solving the problem. Don’t create a bigger problem by solving a smaller one.

4. Identify alternative methods and solutions.

5. State the cost of each alternative.

6. Choose between alternatives (as you pray, have Bible study, seek godly wisdom, etc.).

7. Delegate action steps and begin implementation.

8. Evaluate progress.

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make in dealing with problems is that when they are working through this process they don’t take into account the feelings of those in the organization as they begin to make changes. Even if these changes will improve the situation of all concerned, people typically don’t like changes; especially if they don’t play a part in the decision making process. If you are in a “boss-employee” situation then the leader could just state the decision in a memo and be done with it. But in a volunteer organization (such as a church) then people choose to follow or not, the leader has to be sensitive (but not overly controlled by) to other’s feeling and emotions.

The following is a way of asking people how they are feeling and gives an opportunity to discuss the change process as you go through it.

When __________ (occurs), I feel ______________ (state the way you feel), because ________________ (state why you feel that way.)

For example: “When you change things, I feel fearful, because I do not understand where we are going and how it will affect me and my family.”

Your goal is to get honest responses and point them to Scripture and the rationale and reasoning process you have taken to reach the decisions that have been reached.

*** Note: information for this article was taken from notes of Dr. Ken Coley in a class at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary entitled Church Administration in 1998.

Short Ropes


In his book Total Church Life, [1] Darrell W. Robinson tells the following story;
“The next morning I sat across from Eddie’s father, Leroy Meek. He looked like a bum. His beard was long, his hair was matted, and his eyes were red. He had been fishing the bayou for his son’s body all night. Leroy began to tell me his story.

‘I am a foreman for a large construction company. I did not go to work yesterday due to the flooding. We have eight children. I told them not to go outside to play. But while I took a nap, three of the boys slipped out and made a raft of Styrofoam material and began to float down the bayou. The raft broke up. Two of the boys were able to get out, but Eddie could not get out. The other two raced home and awakened me. I jumped into the pickup truck and sped to the bayou. I tried to reach Eddie, but the concrete sides were steep and the water was rushing and I couldn’t get to him. He was screaming, ‘Daddy, help me! Help me, I can’t hold on much longer!’ ‘I ran back to the pickup truck and grabbed a rope. Eddie screamed, ‘Somebody help me! I can’t hold on much longer!’ I threw him the rope, but the rope was too short!’

As I listened to Leroy, a chill went down my spine. I chocked back tears as I visualized the scene he described. It was like God was speaking to me and showing me the multitudes of hurting people near our church. Like Eddie, they were clinging to whatever they could hold on to. They were crying, ‘Help me! Somebody help me! I can’t hold on much longer!’ And Christians and churches were throwing out ropes, but the ropes were too short to reach the world.

I made arrangements for the funeral and set an appointment to visit the family in their home that afternoon. Dan, our minister of music, and I were the first Christians to enter the Meek home. They had never allowed our bus ministry workers or others from the church in. That afternoon the Meeks were open to Christ. All of the things they were confident in had failed. What Leroy wanted and needed from me was to know his Creator. Our best ministry at this point was to respond to their spiritual need for comfort from God.

Leroy said, ‘Pastor, I have done all kinds of things with my boys. I have taken them fishing, hunting, and camping out, but I have never sat with them in church.’

‘When the funeral is over, if it is OK, I would like to come back and visit with you about Christ,” I responded.’”

As Christians I am assuming that we are throwing ropes to help people (to ignore the plight of a drowning society would be monstrous), so what are the ropes that we are throwing? Are these ropes too short? How would we know one way or the other? Do the cries of those being swept away saying, “I can’t hold on much longer!” keep us awake at night? Do tears of the Father and seeing him trying to help his loved ones stir us to want to help? Are we content with just doing funerals that may have been prevented?

We can change the world around us and make a difference right where we are by throwing a rope that saves – it is not too short. We have been given the “ministry of reconciliation” where “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.[2]” Christ saved us from drowning in sin and despair, he lifted us onto a solid foundation – he saved us. But he did not send us into the lighthouse to dry off and get warm. Instead he handed us a flotation circle, and a rope and said go and throw your rope.

As long as we throw out the gospel to people, it is the only means of salvation that will not fall short. If we throw programs, buildings, fellowships, come as you are, health and wealth, faith healings, your best now, etc… we will continue to see hands slip below the surface.

[1] Darrell W. Robinson. Total Church Life (Nashville, Tennessee; Broadman and Holman, 1997) 11,12
[2] 2 Corinthians 5:18

"For by grace you have been saved through faith." Ephesians 2:8

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