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Families Staying Together During the Service; Six Suggestions on Including Children in the Worship Experience

So church is starting back and for a short season we are following social distancing and staying together during the entire service. Part of the new-normal is the recognition that your children will be with you during the service, and most churches have elected to keep the children in the services. So, there you are, in the service, and your little ones are crawling under your feet, making clicking noises during the prayer time, and you are completely distracted.

The following is an article I wrote in 2016, and I thought it might help you today during these strange days of church. The church and home bear the responsibility to teach the next generation essential biblical concepts — especially in these Covid-19 days.

__________________

In track there is a very important time during the 4×100 relay. No matter how fast one runner may have gone, everything hinges on the passing of the baton. Proper technique must be practiced and maintained no matter how tired the runner may be. The runner who is receiving the baton cannot go anywhere until it is in his/her hand, and the runner who is passing the baton is not considered successful until the next runner has it in their hand. The success of the handoff equals the success of the race.

In the Christian faith there is a handoff that takes place. One generation passes the baton of faith to the next generation. The children in the seats today will be preaching the sermons tomorrow. As a parent there is nothing more satisfying and that brings as much joy, as to see your children genuinely worshipping the Lord. However, as parents there is no one moment in time when the baton is passed; instead it happens a thousand times, one pass, and then another, and then another. One opportunity, that leads to another responsibility, that leads to raised expectations, etc. Slowly, over time, and then years, children grow in their faith and become leaders.

Not only is this passing the baton a parent’s responsibility it is also shared by the church as well. No matter your church’s position on children being present during the service (some leave half way through, some are out the entire time, some stay the whole time, etc.) there will be times when the children will be present for the service.

I begin with the assumption that whoever the teacher/preacher may be, that he desires to be understood and impact all in the room. Also, when the service is designed as a whole that the planners do not desire to leave anyone behind. The following are things that a worship leader or worship design team can implement with regard to children being present in a worship service.

________________________

  1. Sermons that utilize stories – specifically stories about the speakers childhood. This will help the children to see themselves or place themselves into the story.

Telling stories, putting principles and precepts into skin and bones, truths and ideas into real or imaginary people and situations excels as a means of communication. An abstraction may hold some interest, but embody it in a story and it becomes clear, understandable, and compelling.[1]

  1. Avoid unnecessary theological terms.[2] If you can explain something or reword it to make it easier to understand, then why wouldn’t you? If there is a term that is important to explain the main teaching point then take the time to define the term and illustrate why it is important.
  1. Include children in the service or story in some way. Ask them questions, mention their names in a positive way, etc. One could have them hold up a teaching object (ex. If the main idea was on “division” then they could hold up a splitting wedge. Or if the main idea was “service” then they could be asked to serve in some way that day during the service.) Of course knowing ahead of time which children are comfortable being in front of others and which ones are not is important.
  1. Use actual objects to teach – things they can see and touch. The more common the object the better because when they see it again they will be very likely to connect your teaching idea to the object (ex. Toothbrush, zipper, shoe laces, etc.)
  1. Give them an objective to complete – It helps everyone to know what is expected of them. If children can be given a worksheet to complete during the service it may focus their attention and allow them to know what you expect them to know at the end of the service. You may ask questions like, “What was your favorite song? Why? What was the main idea of the sermon? How could you do that this week?, etc”

Avoid fact finding questions, instead focus on wording the questions so that they will help them reach a goal or understanding. Remember you are not desiring to raise a bunch of knowledgeable Pharisees, but whole hearted followers of Christ. For example, don’t ask “How many disciples were in today’s Bible passage?” Instead ask, “How do you think Peter felt when Jesus said, ‘Get behind me Satan?'”

  1. Make comments that relax the parents. Let’s face it, kids are at different stages of maturity (spiritual, mental, and physical). Their ability to sit still will vary greatly, but let me caution you to avoid assuming that because they were moving around that they were not listening. Also, don’t assume that because they were sitting still that they were listening.

A comment like “Children are welcome here. We know they may make noises, ask questions, or move around. . . it’s ok.” (the same is true for special needs families as well).

____________________________

You don’t have to water down theology or even “dumb down” the service just because the kids are there. But you need to pray and spend some extra time on how to make families feel more welcome and relaxed as they attend services together.

Also, a quick note to parents; just because your child may be drawing on the bulletin or crawling around under the chairs, don’t assume that they were not listening. Ask them on the way home what they heard, you will be amazed at what they can retain. As the church and the home work together on making our services more kid/family friendly we will make some great strides to passing off the baton. But don’t forget it’s not a one shot deal, it’s week after week, Sunday after Sunday of partnering together to reach the next generation for Christ.

Get ready, set, . . .Go

______________

[1] Roy Zuck. Teaching as Jesus Taught (Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Publishing), 306.

[2] I go into this specific topic in greater depth in other articles. Click here to read further.

All Working For His Glory; John 9:1-13

First Baptist Church of Valdosta began a special needs ministry called PURE about two years ago. We have experienced many wonderful events including multiple Respite evenings and the highlight of the year was Tim Tebow’s sponsored Night to Shine. We have several families with special needs who are an essential part of our congregation and our prayer is to be a place where all are welcomed, loved, and ministered to. Not only does FBCV, but the the entire Body of Christ have a responsibility to love them, befriend them, to lead them to Christ, and to partner with them in ministry.

But what keeps this from happening in many churches? The following are some things that often keep believers from participating in these wonderful times of ministry, and how we can over come them.

The Problem of Misunderstanding (v. 1-2)

1As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus was escaping a mob who desired to kill Him. In chapter 8 Jesus was teaching among many things that, “anyone who was without sin should cast the first stone” (8:7), and the He was the Light of the World (8:12). Eventually, the Jewish people became so mad that they picked up stones to kill Jesus, but He slipped away.

In spite of the heavy mood, Jesus was never in too big of a hurry to minister to someone in need. While Jesus was looking to minister, the disciples were looking in judgment. With “who sinned,” the disciples assumed that it was someone’s sin that caused the man to have this condition. They believed that sin was the primary cause of all suffering. According to their dogma, if anything bad happened to you in life it was because of your sin.

We see the opposite in Job 1:8 when it says “Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” Job was righteous and blameless yet his worked was rocked.

Regarding families with special needs, there is no reason to blame, but every reason to support the family, and to help display God’s mercy, kindness, love, and hope in their lives and the life of the child.[1] Families have questions that they may need help answering. “Why did God allow this to happen?” “Is it permanent?” “Can I afford the care?” “How do I discipline my child who has a disability?” “What do I say to people who stare at my child?” “Will my child ever be able to accept Jesus?”[2]

The disciples were asking the wrong question, and instead of helping they were judging.

The Purpose of the Man’s Condition (v. 3)

3“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

When it says, “this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life” we see that God seeks to display himself in the lives of those who follow Him.

What works of God were displayed?

 A. God’s compassion was displayed. No one “saw” this man except Jesus. Many times those with special needs are ignored as if they are not there, or they are judged as inferior or being deserving of their condition. In some churches those with special needs are even asked not to come back because it makes people feel uncomfortable. In both of the churches where I have served and been apart of a special needs ministry, there are parents who have told me of horror stories of how they were asked or told not to come back. Jesus noticed him, explained that it was no one’s fault, and that God had a plan for this man’s life (as He does for everyone’s lives).

B. God’s person was displayed. Jesus healed this man showing all who saw that He was from God. Jesus said in

John 10: 25 “…The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me, …” Miracles were expressions of God’s salvation and glory.

When in jail John the Baptist sent some of his disciples to see if Jesus “was the one to come” (Matt. 11:3). Jesus told them to inform John of what He had done: “The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor” (11:5). Miracles were proof of who Jesus was (God) and the presence of the kingdom of God (Matt. 12:39).[3]

When John wrote about miracles that Jesus performed he believed that they held deep spiritual truth, demanding obedient faith. Thus, Jesus feeding the five thousand (6:1-15) was Jesus’ presentation of Himself as the True Manna, the one who gives life and sustenance.[4]

In John 9 Jesus is presenting Himself as the light of the world. He gives spiritual light to all who are in spiritual darkness.  Jesus also understood His miracles as evidences of the presence of the kingdom in His ministry (Matt. 11:2-5); 12:28). Every miracle was a sign that God’s salvation was present.

His miracles were performed on the most unlikely of people. Jesus brought the salvation of God to those who were rejected by society. He healed the lame (Matt. 9:1-8), the mute (Matt. 9:32-33), the leper (Luke 17:11-19), and the blind (John 9:1-3).  Jesus brought the kingdom to all, regardless of their condition or social status.

C.  God’s empowerment was displayed. Not only is he empowered with new sight but he was bold before the Pharisees and other religious leaders. John 9:30 says “The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”

This man who was blind from birth would have known nothing but begging his whole life, now he stands before the religious authorities and tells them spiritual things they can not understand.  We are empowered by God whenever we tell others about Jesus. He will always give us the words to say and the Scripture to use.  We are also empowered by God to do what ever it is that he has called us to do.

The Partnership of All Believers in the Ministry (vv. 4-5)

4As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

In the Jewish agrarian society all work had to be done during the day. When night came the work must stop. Jesus is saying that there will be a time when Jesus’ work would come to an end. We are to do the work that God has given us to do, and like Jesus that time is limited. All of our days are limited. In the time we have, we must work to build His kingdom.

Jesus is also clear that we are to partner with all believers in the work of God. Those with special needs are usually designated as receivers of ministry. But have we asked the question “What is their calling? What has God designed them to do for His kingdom?”

We are to partner with all believers and minister together. The church is to help people discover their calling in this life and to pursue God with all of their heart. 1 Corinthians 12:22 says, “on the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor.” (v.25) “ …its parts should have equal concern for each other.”

Jesus says, “I am the light of the world.” Jesus did not stop being the “light of the world” when he ascended into heaven, but the light was brighter when He was here. He continues to be the spiritual light of the world (salvation) and he is also the physical light of the world (healing this man’s eyes allowing him to see the light.)

The Power of The One Who Sends (vv. 6-7)

6Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7“Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

We are reminded here with “he spit on the ground” of Gen. 2:7 “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.”

Siloam is Hebrew for sent. Jesus was the one who was sent by His Father to earth. Jesus sends the disciples to continue His work.  Matthew 28:19 says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” God used the man who was born blind in a way that he could never have used the disciples. The man was able to witness for Christ six times in verses 1-42.

Witnessing is nothing more than telling someone else what Jesus has done for you. The disciples can not share this man’s testimony with the same impact, and no one can tell your story with the same understanding. When we are obedient to Christ we too will see things that we never could have seen before. God always calls us to faith in Him, then washes us of all sin, and through this process we see things differently.

Having a relationship with Christ is the only way for us to see the world (and people)
as God desires for us to see it. Many of you have only been saved a few years but when you look back on the things you did and enjoyed when you were lost, you would say “WOW, look how I have been changed!”

There is understanding in a relationship with Christ, purpose in a relationship with Christ, there is fellowship and friendships in a relationship with Christ, and there is power in a relationship with Christ.

The Puzzlement of the People (vv. 8-13)

8His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?” 9Some claimed that he was. Others said, “No, he only looks like him.” But he himself insisted, “I am the man.” 10“How then were your eyes opened?” they demanded. 11He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.” 12“Where is this man?” they asked him. “I don’t know,” he said. 13They brought to the Pharisees the man who had been blind.

In ancient times, such severe physical deformities like congenital blindness sentenced a person to begging as the only means of support.[5] But now he had been changed. “How then were your eyes opened?” The man simply tells what Jesus had done to him.  He explained how he followed in obedience, and how he received his sight. People, when they see the change in our lives, will demand to know how you were changed.

“Where is this man? is the sensible next question for a person inquiring about the man who did this miracle.  Another way to say this is “how can I meet Him?” “Can I be changed too?” If you have never met Jesus you can not lead another person to Him. He had not as of yet met Jesus. The man finally met Jesus in vv. 35-39.

35Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” 36“Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.” 37Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.” 38Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him. 39Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

Those who knew this man, his neighbors and acquaintances, saw him after the healing. Some believed, some did not. Why? Some people simply will not believe in Jesus simply because they choose not to, even though all the evidence they need is right there in front of them. These people were faithless by choice.  All those who have received the saving power of Jesus, where he allowed us to see the truth (the light), have never seen the hand that healed them. We can only see the effects of Jesus in our lives.

A Man named Nicodemus came at night and asked Jesus some questions, and:Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ 8The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” 9“How can this be?” Nicodemus asked.”

Salvation may seem to be strange or mysterious but we can look at the event of this man’s life. First, Jesus noticed the man. He calls us at different times in our lives to salvation. Then he required that the man show faith in him to be healed. We show faith in Christ by believing that Jesus died for our sins, and that he rose again. We then are able to see things through a new pair of spiritual eyes.

If you have never met Jesus or understand who He is, ask Him to heal your spiritual eyes and He will.

________________

[1] Jim Pearson. Exceptional Teaching. Cincinnati: Standard Publishing. p. 215.

[2] Ibid.

[3] R. F. Youngblood ed. Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Dictionary. Nashville:Nelson Publishing. p. 847.

[4] Ibid.

[5] John MacArthur. The MacArthur Study Bible, Nashville: Word Publishing. p. 1601.

Is the Resurrection of Jesus a Fairy Tale?

storytelling_30526Mankind loves a good story. When it is told in an engaging way it allows the hearers to let go of reality and believe what they know is a deception. They cry for characters when they experience tragedy or lost love, and rejoice for them when the character experiences the happy ever after. They allow themselves to go on a journey, a roller-coaster-ride of emotions, all while knowing what they are hearing and seeing if false, fictional, or took place in a far away place or distant time.

Good story telling causes us to feel and enter into a mindset of believing the false, what Tolkien calls “secondary belief.”[1] All good stories have the same main parts: love found, love lost, and then love found again; good overcoming evil; the journey of a hero who overcomes impossible odds; defeating aging and time travel, fixing our past mistakes, etc. So even in a time of science and with all the advancements we have made as a species – we still want and crave certain things from this life. We still are searching for happiness, completion, and purpose.

Mankind wants to stop growing old and overcome death, to find true love, to know and be known, to overcome their past, to be noble, etc. We seek them in our stories and entertainment. Great books, movies, art, or theatre engage us in this journey as our hearts desire to touch upon these common themes. This desire to be caught up into these stories and to be carried along for a time is so prevalent that a whole cottage industry of making costumes and going to conventions dressed as characters has developed and is incredibly popular.[2]

We love stories and our hearts desire to enter into a world where we can find the answers to what we long for. Tim Keller shows in a talk he gave at Belhaven that “all human beings underneath feel there should not be death, that we are not meant to die, we shouldn’t lose our loved ones, good should be triumphing over evil, there ought to be a supernatural world, we should not be stuck in time and then we are dead. . .”[3]

Keller goes on to discuss how Tolkien said that people have been told and experience reality (there is death, good does lose to evil, etc.) but our hearts know that these things are true in “reality”, but it is in a fantasy story that mankind can know a truer reality of the ways things can be.

This is why the gospels hinge on the resurrection of Christ. Our hearts experience a reality of death, hate, despair, heartache, separation, loss, etc. Our spirits search to fill a longing and we escape into stories. We are caught in “Life as it is, and life as it ought to be.” Jesus breaks into our broken lives from another reality – and shows that there is another reality and “other place” and does it through miracles, and explanation, and culminating in the resurrection. Jesus enters our reality from somewhere else and He then leaves to go back to that the other reality but leaves a promise to return.

The wonder of the gospel is that it takes all the parts of the ideal (good overcoming evil, victory over death, fixing all past mistakes, truly being known, peace, finding true love, etc.) and brings them to our broken reality. It is no longer a fairy tale or myth to be able to experience these things. They can be found in Jesus Christ, even while living in our reality. Writers and artists have been pointing to Jesus since creation – they wanted to show that another way is possible they just didn’t know how. They believed that there should be another reality than what they experienced, so they weaved their stories. We have the greatest story ever told in the person of Jesus Christ – and it is not a fairy tale or myth, this “other reality” is true.

Jesus and His resurrection make those things we thought were real to be false, and shows that what was thought to be unreal and impossible to be real and possible. Yes there is evil but it has been defeated. Yes, there is death but it has been overcome. Yes, you have past mistakes, but they can be forgotten. Yes you have loss, but it can be restored. Yes you feel all alone, but there is a Creator who knows you with an infinite knowledge and loves you with an unimaginable devotion.

_______________________

Below is a wonderful video of Tim Keller and his discussion of this topic. The first 3/4 of the video discusses an apologetic of the Bible.


_______________________

[1] “Not all authors believe that suspension of the disbelief adequately characterizes the audience’s relationship to imaginative works of art. J. R. R. Tolkien challenges this concept in his essay “On Fairy-Stories“, choosing instead the paradigm of secondary belief based on inner consistency of reality. Tolkien says that, in order for the narrative to work, the reader must believe that what he reads is true within the secondary reality of the fictional world. By focusing on creating an internally consistent fictional world, the author makes secondary belief possible. Tolkien argues that suspension of disbelief is only necessary when the work has failed to create secondary belief. From that point the spell is broken, and the reader ceases to be immersed in the story and must make a conscious effort to suspend disbelief or else give up on it entirely.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspension_of_disbelief

[2] http://tampabaycomiccon.com/about-us/

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o6nxKhbbF8 30:00/39:04

Making Your Services More “Kid Friendly”

imagesIn track there is a very important time during the 4×100 relay. No matter how fast one runner may have gone, everything hinges on the passing of the baton. Proper technique must be practiced and maintained no matter how tired the runner may be. The runner who is receiving the baton cannot go anywhere until it is in his/her hand, and the runner who is passing the baton is not considered successful until the next runner has it in their hand. The success of the handoff equals the success of the race.

In the Christian faith there is a handoff that takes place. One generation passes the baton of faith to the next generation. The children in the seats today will be preaching the sermons tomorrow. As a parent there is nothing more satisfying and that brings as much joy, as to see your children genuinely worshipping the Lord. However, as parents there is no one moment in time when the baton is passed; instead it happens a thousand times – one pass, and then another, and then another. One opportunity, that leads to another responsibility, that leads to raised expectations, etc. Slowly, over time, and then years, children grow in their faith and become leaders.

Not only is this passing the baton a parent’s responsibility it is also shared by the church as well. No matter your church’s position on children being present during the service (some leave half way through, some are out the entire time, some stay the whole time, etc.) there will be times when the children will be present for the service.

I begin with the assumption that whoever the teacher/preacher may be, that he desires to be understood and impact all in the room. Also, when the service is designed as a whole that the planners do not desire to leave anyone behind. The following are things that a worship leader or worship design team can implement with regard to children being present in a worship service.

________________________

  1. Sermons that utilize stories – specifically stories about the speakers childhood. This will help the children to see themselves or place themselves into the story.

d942e98a82ef3fef007b55bcd171eb66Telling stories – putting principles and precepts into skin and bones, truths and ideas into real or imaginary people and situations – excels as a means of communication. An abstraction may hold some interest, but embody it in a story and it becomes clear, understandable, and compelling.[1]

  1. Avoid unnecessary theological terms.[2] If you can explain something or reword it to make it easier to understand – then why wouldn’t you? If there is a term that is important to explain the main teaching point then take the time to define the term and illustrate why it is important.
  1. Include children in the service or story in some way. Ask them questions, mention their names in a positive way, etc. One could have them hold up a teaching object (ex. If the main idea was on “division” then they could hold up a splitting wedge. Or if the main idea was “service” then they could be asked to serve in some way that day during the service.) Of course knowing ahead of time which children are comfortable being in front of others and which ones are not is important.
  1. Use actual objects to teach – things they can see and touch. The more common the object the better because when they see it again they will be very likely to connect your teaching idea to the object (ex. Toothbrush, zipper, shoe laces, etc.)
  1. Give them an objective to complete – It helps everyone to know what is expected of them. If children can be given a worksheet to complete during the service it may focus their attention and allow them to know what you expect them to know at the end of the service. You may ask questions like “What was your favorite song? Why? What was the main idea of the sermon? How could you do that this week?, etc”

Avoid fact finding questions, instead focus on wording the questions so that they will help them reach a goal or understanding. Remember you are not desiring to raise a bunch of knowledgeable Pharisees, but whole hearted followers of Christ.

  1. Make comments that relax the parents. Let’s face it kids are at different stages of maturity (spiritual, mental, and physical). Their ability to sit still will vary greatly, but let me caution you to avoid assuming that because they were moving around that they were not listening. Also, don’t assume that because they were sitting still that they were listening.

A comment like “Children are welcome here. We know they may make noises, ask questions, or move around. . . it’s ok.” (the same is true for special needs families as well).

____________________________

You don’t have to water down theology or even “dumb down” the service just because the kids are there. But you need to pray and spend some time on how to make families feel more welcome and relaxed as they attend services together.

Also, a quick note to parents – just because your child may be drawing on the bulletin or crawling around under the chairs, don’t assume that they were not listening. Ask them on the way home what they heard – you will be amazed at what they can retain. As the church and the home work together on making our services more kid/family friendly we will make some great strides to passing off the baton. But don’t forget it’s not a one shot deal, it’s week after week, Sunday after Sunday of partnering together to reach the next generation for Christ.

Get ready, set, . . .

______________

[1] Roy Zuck. Teaching as Jesus Taught (Grand Rapids, Michigan; Baker Publishing), 306.

[2] I go into this specific topic in greater depth in other articles. Click here to read further.

Teaching Kids: Heart Transformation

Valdosta Kids Vision- Heart Transformation from Drew Boswell on Vimeo.

“When we heap rules upon rules on a broken soul, we are actually adding a burden, not introducing freedom in Christ. Simply put, Christ has to be at the center of everything we do in our ministry to children. We seek to put Christ as the center and He will produce heart transformation.” Jeffery Reed, Director of Lifeway Kids.

Click here to see Jeffrey Reed and a further discussion of “Heart Transformation.”

Click here to read more on moralism and the gospel.

Click here to read more about teaching in such a way that you avoid a moralistic false gospel.

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"Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts." Rick Warren

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