“The Supreme Life”
A Sermon Series in Colossians
“6 Relationships to Power”
Colossians 3:18-25, 4:1
Introduction
In the previous chapters of Colossians Paul has instructed the church to avoid false teaching, and the letter itself is a response to these false ideas making their way into the church. Then Paul discusses how the church is to relate with one another as a result of them “Setting your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
And at the end of chapter 3 he moves from the church community to the family. Just like the church needs to get along, so we put off certain sinful behavior (slander, obscene talk, etc.) and put on godly behavior (like forgiveness, bearing with one another, etc.) In the family there are also things we can do to get along.
In the Roman culture there was a “household table,” or cultural expectation of how the home was to be, where the father exercised “patria potestas” or ‘paternal power.’ In Roman culture the father held the power of life and death over his household. When a child was born, it was presented to the father, the leader of the home, who then said whether they were to keep it, or expose it (abandon it in a remote area). That was a worldly and godless family – God is not present in that home, but what happens to the family and what power is present when Jesus comes in and sits down at the family table?
Paul has taught on equality, and there is a parallel passage in Ephesians where he said, “there is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave or free, (neither male nor female),” there is only the one body in Christ. In response to this liberation teaching of Paul there seems to be false teachers who then teach that in Christ all earthly roles and responsibilities go away.
In today’s text Paul reminds the church that even though they are free in Christ, their role in their family (which is the foundation of all society) does not change. While the Romans view of the family may have way too far in one direction, Paul seeks to bring the church back to a view of the family that may have swerved too far in the other direction.
Men are still responsible to carry out the role of being men; women were to continue to carry out the responsibilities of being women, and children were still to be children, etc. Also, marriage does not go away – setting one’s mind on the things above, doesn’t mean you cease to be dad. Paul is reminding “Christians that certain institutions continued to exist in the new age (the church age) and that believers needed to relate appropriately to one another within these institutions.”[1]
God has called Christians to think about the things above,
while holding true to their relationships & responsibilities down below.[2]
Prayer
A Wife’s Relationship With her Husband (v. 18)
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
To submit, a person “voluntarily ‘put oneself under’ the authority or direction of someone or something else” Christians place themselves under the authority of the church (Eph. 5:24), humans to governing authorities (Rom. 13:1,5; Titus 3:1; 1 Pet. 2:18) Christians to their leaders (1 Cor. 16:16); young men to older men (1 Pet. 5:5), etc.
In this sense the wife “puts herself under” her husband in recognizing and living out an “order” established by God himself within the marriage relationship (and by extension, in the family of God, the church). Paul also puts it this way in 1 Corinthians 11:3, “the head of the wife is her husband.” – the husband as the “dominant” and “prominent” member of the family relationship, is to take lead in the marriage relationship.”[3]
There are three relationships mentioned; wives are to submit to their husbands, but children are to obey their parents, and slaves are to obey their master. Paul could have used the word obey with the marriage relationship, but he chose submit Submission is to recognize an order of relationships – it’s not about commands given and then followed (with no give and take, discussion, etc.).
The word Lord is mentioned several times before today’s text, but Lord is mentioned six times in these few verses at the end of chapter three. All of these relationships (wife, husband, child, parent, bondservant, and master) all deal with a response to Jesus being Lord of a Christian’s life – all of the relationships deal with authority and how we deal with it.
Then Paul adds, “as is fitting in the Lord,” – God has established the created order, where Christ is the head, the preeminent one, then in the family, husbands are the leader, then the wife – so when we follow this order of creation, then this order fits what the Lord created.
If you feel there is a stigma of inferiority attached to the idea of submission, Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:15 “Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” Bringing children into the world is something only women can do. Men and women stand on equal footing before the Lord (see Galatians 3:28), yet they each play a different role, and have different responsibilities. Our world, especially today, tries to blur and join gender into some amalgamous being that God never intended.
A Husband’s Relationship With His Wife (v. 19)
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
The word for love here is agapao and it means a sacrificial, self-giving love that is modeled after the love that Jesus showed. The Ephesian parallel verse says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Ephesians 5:25.[4]
It’s a covenant kind of love, continue to love (not a love of passion or emotion), but one of choice. “Paul commands the husband to see his wife as the weaker sex to be cared for while at the same time seeing her a fellow-heir of Christ (1 Pet. 3:7).”[5] The submission of the wife happens within the context of the husband’s love.
Paul is addressing the two issues that will cause problems in the marriage relationship. Women will tend to resist and fight against being under the “headship” of their husbands, and men will be prone to abuse their leadership role by not showing a Christlike love and being harsh with their wives.
2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?” So, if a Christian woman marries a non-believer she is still expected to follow the order of creation, she is still expected to submit to her husband. But the non-believing husband cannot love his wife as Christ loved the church, nor can he lead them toward righteousness.
And if a Christian man marries a non-believer, she will not understand this order of creation and resist his leadership. The husband is still expected to love her with a Christ-like love, but she won’t understand his desire to lead the family toward Jesus – she will resist it.
So Paul tells the husband, “do not be harsh,” – the word for harsh here can be translated “to make bitter.” In the passage below a Father can do things that will cause a child to be provoked and disheartened. The same is true of a husband toward his wife. It’s hard to have trust (and therefore give up control to another person) if there is record of forceful control. People respond to love not overbearing dominance.
A Child’s Relationship to Their Parents (v. 20)
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
All people are to “honor your father and mother (Exodus 20:12).” Proverbs 30:17 gives a graphic picture of when children dishonor and rebel against their parents, “The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.”
God warns that when children don’t obey their parents there are consequences; not even so much God punishing them, but the natural consequences of children who don’t respect authority will encounter authority and it won’t go well for them. This understanding of authority begins in the home, and with children obeying their parents. Then when they go out into the world, they are to obey the authority over them.
“for this pleases the Lord,” – This pleases the Lord because the home is the place where God has established for children to learn how to navigate life. They are being prepared to live a life that will cause less pain for the child, but it also helps them understand ultimately God’s authority over them. A child’s understanding of “Jesus is Lord” begins with the parental relationship (submitting and loving).
Be Careful How You Use Your Authority (v. 21)
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
In the Roman culture, fathers held the power of “patria potestas” or ‘paternal power.’ So it makes sense to say Fathers. But the context of the text is referring to the parent (or whichever adult) who has ultimate authority over the child.[6] Parents have a power of influence over their kids. Kids want their parents to be proud of them and they want to be trusted.
“provoke,” “To cause someone to react in a way that suggests acceptance of a challenge.” Paul is saying that children should not be disciplined to such an extent that they “lose heart.” Fathers can use their authority and power over a child to such an extent that it crushes the child’s spirit. Eventually, they just give up trying to please their parents and listen to their instructions because no matter what they do, it is never right, or never enough. They become discouraged.
Father is typically the one who encourages their children to take risks, do new things, face danger. Cut the log, ride the bike, start the business, etc. Mom typically embraces, gives comfort, and puts on the bicycle helmet.
So, Dads in your zealousness to push your children to do great things, don’t frustrate them with your drive or your discipline. Celebrate the little victories, tell them that you are proud of them. There needs to be discipline with poor choices but not so extreme that they quit trying. “The wayward branch must be bent with caution, not broken in the efforts of a rude and hasty zeal.”[7]
A Bondservant’s Relationship to Their Masters (vv. 22-25)
22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
So, if the family will last until eternity (wives, husbands, children and fathers), is slavery as an institution also endorsed and assumed to continue throughout time? Why is there no mandate from Paul against slavery? It seems like this is a perfect opportunity to forbid slavery and outlaw it in the church. Paul could have said, “slave owners, free your slaves.” “The apostles were not social reformers; they were first and foremost heralds of the good news of salvation in Christ.”[8]
Paul commands bondservants to work and do what they are told, “not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart” Don’t just work hard when they are around and watching you, but be sincere in your work. The word used for eye here is to be “single-eyed” – it is an eye focused and concentrated on one thing. When you are working, you are focused on sincerely accomplished the task you have been asked to accomplish. And heart captures our idea of heart and soul – put your heart and soul into the work.
We find that Lord is mentioned again, “fearing the Lord” – if you believe that Jesus is Lord (which the whole book is teaching us) then you have ended up a slave as a result of His command of everything – He is preeminent over all of creation. So while you have a heavenly master, you also are still a slave on earth – you still have an earthly master.
You may have your mind of heavenly things,
and you may be saved and a new creation,
but you still must navigate the harsh reality of this world.
Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery in Genesis 37:27 “Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers listened to him. 28 Then Midianite traders passed by. And they drew Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. They took Joseph to Egypt.” Joseph moved from slave to second only to the pharaoh; and when his brothers came to Egypt trying not to starve, he reveals himself to his brothers.
Genesis 45:4-5 “So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.” You intended it for evil but God used it for the good. Joseph understands that his life as a slave, and all the hardships he endured was for a purpose. God used Joseph to save millions of lives from starvation and the salvation of his brothers (physically and spiritually).[9]
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, have a single-minded focus to do whatever you with a sincere and dedicated heart, “Fearing the Lord” because there is a purpose and plan for you being there. The point of the text is not whether slavery is wrong or should be abolished (Paul would say of course it should be) but when you find yourself in a position where you don’t have any power in your life, don’t let that be an excuse for not giving your all. Being a witness for Christ through your work.
“The Christian shoemaker does his duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes, because God is interested in good craftsmanship.” ― Martin Luther.
So in your work, we are to work “unto the Lord” and “You are serving the Lord Christ” because it is ultimately His plan that you are wanting to see succeed.
A Master’s Relationship to Their Bondservants (v. 4:1)
4 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
The last family relationship is masters to bondservants – Slaves would have lived with their masters in the same family unit. Paul commands them to treat them “justly and fairly.” Or giving them what is due them. Because they hold all the power over another person’s life there would be a tendency to abuse that position. So, Paul reminds the slave owners that they have a master also – who shows no favorites.
So if you are in a position where you hold power over people, treat them justly and fairly, and remember you have a master over you.
Conclusion
There once was a battleship that had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. The captain of the battleship was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.”
“Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out.
The lookout replied, “Steady, Captain,” which meant they were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: ‘We are on a collision course, advise you change course twenty degrees.'”
Back came the signal, “Advisable for you to change course twenty degrees.”
The captain said, “Send: “I’m a captain, change course twenty degrees.'”
“I’m a seaman second-class,” came the reply. “You had better change course twenty degrees.”
By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send: ‘I’m a battleship. Change course twenty degrees.'”
Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse. It’s your call.”
They changed course.
The captain holds the power;
what he does with that authority affects the lives of many people.
________________
[1] Douglas Moo, The Pillar New Testament Commentary, The Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon (Grand Rapids, Michigan; William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2008) 296.
[2] Not exactly the same as “too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good.”
[3] Moo, 300.
[4] While Ephesians and Colossians have similar subject matter, they were written to address different situations, so “Despite the close relationship of Ephesians and Colossians, we have to be careful not to read what is said in Ephesians into the Colossians text.” Moo, 304.
[5] John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Colossians & Philemon (Chicago, Illinois; Moody Press, 1992) 169.
[6] Moo, 306.
[7] Frank E. Gaebelein, General Editor, The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Volume 11 (Grand Rapids. Michigan; Zondervan Publishing, 1978) 219.
[8] Gaebelien, 219.
[9] For more on this topic see this sermon series, https://drewboswell.com/category/wilderness-the-life-of-joseph/
