Drew Boswell

a place for us to share ideas, talk about life, and learn together.

When Can I Get Off This Thing?

 

UnknownI love photography and have since I was an early teen. By the time I was in 9th grade I had either received as a gift or saved and purchased myself a SLR film camera and several other expensive pieces of a camera kit (a flash, various lenses, program cards, filters, etc.) I even had a film-developing lab that could be set up in my bathroom. I love the smell of the chemicals, the challenge of taking the film out of its’ canister in the dark, doing the stop bath, and even timing the exposure. I enjoyed the process of having to see in my mind what the shot would look like on film, then take it through a process that took hours to bring it to completion. It was the journey that I enjoyed, even more than the finished photograph.

This process has been lost in the day of digital slr photography. One can take a picture, see it in the display, and even edit it right there in the camera. Some cameras will even allow you to send it to the internet and social media sites immediately. The days of stop baths, timers, chemicals, film, projectors, and whole rooms dedicated to the process are items in yesterday’s yard sale. The whole process is now condensed into an app like Instagram. sigh.

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Now in some circles I am thought of a tech nerd (I know pretty funny right?), and you would think that I love the constant advancements in technology (and I do love it!). But with the progression of change we have to be careful not to lose the soul of a discipline. For example there is a current push to replace subjects like Geometry (in which children learn logical thinking) with computer code writing. Code writing acts as a language with which one can change around to create a program to do just about anything. This process also encourages creativity and logical thinking.  As one who hated proofs, and well anything that had to do with math, I would be the first to pull the lever if we were to put it to a vote. But by replacing one thing with another what is gained is obvious (with code writing our children are better equipped to engage a digital world). But what is lost is not immediately obvious. But, before I wade into math waters too deeply, I’m going back to the shore.

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So before you blast me for my mad math skills, my point is the process of replacing one thing for another. The replacing of film and the mindset and process that goes along with it is replaced with the digital mindset. We live in a world where the iPhone has replaced the landline phone. No longer can I call you “at home” — I call you wherever you may be anywhere (just about) on the planet. Call me “at home” has been lost to “call me.” There are subtle things that are lost (and gained) with each new step forward. And we can never push the pause button and say, “I’m done. I’m going to just stay in today.” Time and tomorrow keeps marching on and we do the best we can, only to learn later what has been subtly lost.

Yes, you should get an iPhone and no you should not be rocking a mullet. Good luck keeping up.

Click here to see another article relating this topic.

 

2013 In the Rear View

FE_DA_NewYear2013_122012_425425x283There are two times a year when I get more introspective than normal. In the summer months when I go on vacation, I ask “Lord, am I where I am supposed to be?” In other words, how’s my relationship with the Lord, and is His purpose and plan clear in my mind? The second time of the year when I ask myself questions is at the end of the year. It is during this time that I ask, “Lord what did you teach me this year?”

“Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement: and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

George Santayana

I have found it be essential to stop and consider what the Lord has taught me in the previous year (just as it is essential to stop and “sharpen my ax” in training). There are some people who are not adding experience to their lives, they are simply repeating the same year again and again making the same mistakes again and again. The following are some of the highlights from 2013. Because sometimes life’s lessons come with a scar, involve people (with feelings), etc.,  they are intentionally brief and without much commentary.

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1.  Invest in people before you invest in possessions. Physical property will break, technology will fade, and eventually every ‘thing’ will need to be replaced. People, on the other hand, are an investment that has limitless dividends. For example, if you help a person become a teacher (or a better teacher) then not only do you help them, but you influence all the people they will eventually teach.

We as Americans like to hold things in our hands. We think that we have security in our possessions. We find comfort and limited peace in our bank accounts and retirement. But our true wealth is what we cannot hold on to – the lives of other people. A Christian leader’s life long job is to invest in and equip others in order that they can be sent out to do ministry. So it is a lifetime of letting go (in love), not of holding on.

Don’t get me wrong we need stuff to do ministry and life, but people should always come first. If you only have a dollar then buy a friend a cup of coffee and spend time in conversation.

2.  Know and learn to love the culture where you minister. If you are a children’s volunteer then you need to be able to enter a child’s world and know what the child likes. You should know what they are doing when they play in their homes.

If you are a youth volunteer you need to know what youth think is ‘cool’, ‘righteous,’ ‘sick’, ‘ill’, or whatever. If you are on staff at a church then you learn to love whatever the culture you find yourself. If you don’t, then you always stand outside the circle making commentary on things you don’t understand or appear to appreciate. This is an issue of immersion. You must immerse yourself in a culture (dress, language, food, customs, etc.) and actually adapt them to your life.

3.  Respect and Honor Other’s Investment in the Ministry Where You Find Yourself. Rarely are you the first to ‘till the ground’ and ‘reap the harvest,’ where you minster. Usually there is someone (or even many others) who have come before you. These are people serving in your church who have been doing it longer than you have been alive. Thank God for them, give them what they need to do their ministry, and leave them alone.

4.  React. Do something when someone comes to you with a concern. You do not necessarily have to do what they want done, when they want it done, but if someone has taken the time to set up a meeting with you, then they are expecting you to take some kind of action.

It is not good (in the eyes of your relationship) for you to develop a plan, pray about it, and begin to work the plan if what you are doing is not communicated with the person who initially brought you the concern. If you have not communicated with them, then they assume you are doing nothing, do not value their concerns, and they get very frustrated (especially when needed change takes time).

5. Keep people “in the loop.” especially those on your staff. When ministry gets hectic, stressful, and you feel attacked from all sides, information is more precious than gold. But it seems that this is exactly when people get guarded, protective, and keep things to themselves. Earn trust in the good times, because you will need it in the bad times.

6.  Invest in Friendships. If you want to have a friend, then you have to be a friend. Quit sitting around and waiting for people to come to you (who are you that people should revolve around you?), you make the effort, take the risks, and build the relationship. No, they won’t all work out, but some will.

Take some time and ask yourself the question, “Lord what have you taught me this year?” I would love to hear your list!

 

Reaction to the Firing of Phil Robertson

Really?
ddWere we really that surprised when we heard of Phil Robertson being fired from the hit A&E television “reality” show for making comments to a GQ reporter? It’s funny how we want reality in our television, but not too much reality. We don’t want to hear the reality of their belief in Jesus, or praying in His name around the family dinner table. We especially don’t want to have to endure the reality of their “intolerant” Christian beliefs regarding the Bible and if they actually live their lives as though it were true.

The network tried to make this family and their beliefs more palatable to its viewing audience by adding bleeps in recorded conversations as if to hide curse words that were not actually there. They were also told they could not pray in “Jesus name” around the dinner table at the close of the show. Both of these issues were worked out between the Robertson family and the network – but it shows how the world desires a “cutting edge” and “reality” as long as it’s their own reality and no one else’s.

Remember the network’s only desire is to make money. They are a business, so they put shows on the air they feel people will watch. They do not have some agenda to shape the morality of the culture. They are not stupid (blind to reality perhaps; but not stupid.) They have done polls, market research, etc. and reached the conclusion that America wants the Duck Dynasty in their living room, the seat covers for their minivans, and the bobble heads on their kid’s shelves. A&E sees them as a moneymaker, when that changes the show ends. But as with most things that have an inkling of light, we don’t like it when it’s shined in our face.

This is not a freedom of speech issue. The world comes to Phil Robertson (200 times a day) asking for interviews. He travels all over the country with his family giving speeches and teaching Bible studies. The GQ interview is an example of how what Phil Robertson said was expressed. We have the freedom to say what we want to say, but as with all actions there are consequences.

Your boss at work can fire you for comments made at work. If you are a public figure, you can be fired for what you say away from the office. What seems to have changed in America is not the consequences for expressing one’s freedom of speech but the tolerance of differing thoughts. Dialogue and the ability to disagree are essential to a free society.

When one group has power to control the outlet of opposing thoughts and ideas, then liberty is in jeopardy. Because we have enjoyed such freedoms for generations we will not fight for these rights or even care for such things until we feel the sting of their absence. America has grown indifferent to it’s innate liberty because it has never known anything different. We have dumbed down our taste for entertainment to where we do not want to be made to think about things differing from the main stream’s understanding of reality. This is true on the secular and the Christian side of reality.

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Challenged
How many times have you intentionally sought after a friendship with a person of different beliefs in order to truly know them and be their friend? We see the opposing side as dangerous because they may infect our children, or others in our group will think we have compromised our ways to some degree, or I may actually learn something difficult about myself that I don’t want to change. Fear and Pride.

Or you may just say, “I ain’t got time for that.”

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America’s New Core Values
Many will sadly simply turn the channel to the next reality show with no thought that one man’s views are no longer heard because they challenge or go against what has been decided is America’s new core values.

But the Robertson family have been very open regarding their beliefs. The GQ articles says, “During the family’s initial negotiations about the show with A&E, Jase told me, “the three no-compromises were faith, betrayal of family members, and duck season.” What they believe has been no secret and the family has continued to fight to keep a certain level of reality in the reality show.

A&E wants to mold this Christian family into what it feels will reach the widest viewing market. And as with all things that say something with no meaning and live life with no depth it will blow away. The reason America loves this show is deeper than long beards and guns. They see something authentic and real in a painfully scripted “reality” television world. They see men dedicated to their wives and families. They see families working through personality differences, and they see a successful business that is rooted in Christian beliefs.

But if you are a fan of the show, then you know this already.

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What is the Real Issue? 
Before I weighed in on this issue I read the GQ Interview. (be forewarned there is some crude language). I would encourage you to go and read it for yourself, but I have pulled out the quotes that I think most people are reacting to.

1) “It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

2) The GQ reporter asked, “What, in your mind, is sinful? and Robertson replied, “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

The issue is not really about comments made toward homosexuals. A&E has the right as a network to hire or fire anyone they choose for whatever reason they choose. They are a business who is in the business of making shows that people desire to watch.The Robertsons have the right and freedom to believe what they want.  If you don’t like what happened then let them know, if enough people want him back, then he’ll be back. Who knows this may just be a publicity stunt for ratings.

The core issue is that America is afraid to talk about a reality different than their own. A&E is reacting to this fear in trying to make the show as neutral as possible. But what they seek to push out of the frame is the true reality of what makes this family worth watching. But here’s to hoping that we can at least talk about it with out it being called “hate speech.”

Life’s Unplanned Curriculum

IMG_0513In academic life teachers have what is called a curriculum. It is a plan of what is to be taught, and usually it is presented in a scope and sequence format. The ‘scope’ is what is to be covered and the ‘sequence’ is the order that these lessons will be taught. In my mind, as a parent, there are specific lessons and topics that I would like to teach my children, and to a certain degree of when I would like to teach them these lessons. But recently I have been reminded that God has a plan that is so much better than my own, and that He desires to teach my children according to His own ‘scope and sequence.’

As a parent sometimes it feels like we are just hanging on to moments in time. I see these moments as clicks of a shutter in a camera. As I look through my camera to take the picture of my child blowing out the candles on their birthday cake, I am astounded at how fast time has past since I took this same picture last year. Milestones in our children’s lives pass us like telephone poles along the highway. Time is swirling past as we stand still.

But then we go to some kind of reunion, pass a mirror, or just get out of bed we realize that it has affected us as well. We battle regret of the past with a continued desire to make a difference in the future. Each day is an opportunity to instill in our children something of value, and yet far too many days are filled with waste instead of treasure.

But God in His grace reaches down into our worlds of wasted opportunity and does a work in our homes. In spite of our foolishness, ignorance, and sinful habits He guides with His omnipotent hand toward the future.

The following is a poem that I wrote following the death of one of our chickens and how it affected my family. I wanted to teach my children something, but God also had a plan. I am stunned that He does not push us out of the way in our foolishness as parents. But instead He desires to use us in His plan. We must not step out of the picture and wait for Him to act. Instead He desires for us to journey with our children, to teach, to learn, and to grow as people together. In His grace he forgives us, in his mercy he uses us to help others. Expect Him to do great things as you try your best and lean on His Word.

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Remembering Oreo

We got the hens in the spring.
My wife looked at me as if I were crazy.
I told her of chores and care,
so that our children wouldn’t be lazy.
How they would love them and learn one of life’s rare lessons;
to care for another, and to look after their possessions.

I put my hands to work and built a coop and home
A place where they would be safe, warm, and never alone.
There was plenty of food and provision
when the children remembered of their newly assigned responsibility.

With in a little time their unique feathers had grown
eggs were laying with omelets for breakfasts
a routine of daily care was now sown.

Some would run behind and want to be picked up.
Each had their own personality, one gentle, one leader, another an aggravator,
Each very special and dearly loved.

Angel, Dixie, Sadie, Sunshine, Oreo, and Sparrow

The experiment was going according to plan.
Eggs in the morning and feeding at night.
They all had a name, and were never far from our sight.

But the day finally came when we became too relaxed
and the door of the kennel had failed to latch.
To dogs who had barked now had their chance,
to chase, to bite, and to catch.

There I found the hen on the lawn
No life, no cluck, nothing at all.
Just flies and thoughts of how I would tell them.

Into the house I made the announcement
Oreo was dead and quick with a shovel
we buried our friend without any pronouncement.

Then huddled together to mourn.
On the boy’s bunk bed there were tears and crying of Oreo dead
There were children’s questions of why and how.
Forgiveness was extended, received, and nothing more was said.

This was a life lesson that I had not intended;
letting go of what has been lost,
and to forgive when we have been hurt.

I did not know they would love simple animals so deeply,
to be affected by death and loss so quickly.
I wanted to teach the children of watering and feeding,
To learn one of life’s rare lessons;
to care for another and to look after their possessions.

They learned to love and let go,
I learned as a parent to go with the flow
To let life teach it’s lessons,
And be with them as we learn and love together.

Find Your Voice

All of my children at around the age of a-year-and-a-half became very annoying. They would abruptly and continuously yell unintelligible sounds. They would scream, yell, click their tongues, and make a cacophony of (did I already say annoying?) sounds. It hurt my ears, kept me awake when I wanted to be sleeping, and made social engagements very awkward. As my wife and I endured this time we would come across people who would say, “awww how cute; they are finding their voice” and “Are they twins?”

All people go through this necessary childhood developmental process and some even go on to be great orators, singers, musicians, preachers, etc.  They use their developed voice for the good of mankind. They have honed the skill of their voice to harness the admiration and confidence of others. They draw attention to causes, things that need attention, or other noble purposes. That which was once annoying because it was underdeveloped has now become focused and highly useful.

But what of the adult who has not found their voice? What about those who squeak, stumble, and lack process of thought? Do we want to follow them? Do we want to follow their cause, or get-in-line to sign up to assist their efforts? No. Like a screaming child they give us a headache and when mom’s not looking we slip out of the room.

As a leader, here are a few things to think about in relation to your ideas and how you voice those ideas.

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Annoying is not Cute.

Yes, I have been “that parent” on the airplane whose children were screaming. And no, I did not check Pinterest to get cute ideas of gifts to give those sitting around us. We were broke and exhausted and had no time or money to put together a hundred bags of candy or whatever you would put in a bag that says, “I’m sorry for making your life miserable on this flight.” They just had to suck it up, and take the hit. They drew us, and our screaming children, as their travel companions. No matter what we did, and how we had prepared for the flight the children decided to scream and cry. Joy. Those people who smiled and said, “oh, how cute” and “are they twins?,” those same people would not look at us as we got off the plane.

Annoying is not cute.

The same is true for those leaders who have not continued to develop their voice. Like screaming kids on an airplane, people get trapped into situations where they have to listen to them, praying that it will end (soon). People try to end the pain by helping the parents. They hand them crackers across the aisle, or offer up some business item to be used as a toy. Those who endure an underdeveloped leader try to help them. Do you really want to follow a leader for whom you feel sympathy? Leaders are to inspire, encourage, and (to say the obvious) lead.

In many ways we are all traveling on a journey together. Sometimes it’s your turn to lead, and sometimes it’s your turn to follow. So if you are on deck to lead, and people are listening to what you say, make sure it is pleasant to the ears. For those leaders who shrill and crack through their ideas, it is painful for those listening and trying to follow. Far too many of those suffering under a leader who have not found their voice try to stuff the hopelessly too small airline pillow into their ears only to discover no relief from their efforts. Those that lack a developing (or even developing) voice push people away.

Finding One’s Voice Takes Many Hours of Making Sounds

If you are a parent and its time for your child to find their voice then get some earplugs, turn up the stereo and endure it. It’s just like the potty training stage that’s on it’s way, or the taking an afternoon nap stage that just went away — it’s just a stage. Eventually your child develops the ability to speak and communicate. They learn to speak by imitating you, the characters in their favorite DVD, and all the other people in their lives. But there comes a time for imitation to cease and originality to begin.

The trap many leaders fall into is trying to be someone they are not. In Preacher Land (my Oz and where I hang out), many young preachers imitate preachers they respect and want to emulate. They copy their sermons, their illustrations, even down to their hand gestures and way of dress. They may even become exact copies of their idol, but they have not developed their own voice. They are more like the parrot in the pet store than people who add to life’s discussion. Don’t parrot others, speak for yourself —  speak your own thoughts and ideas. If you do this there will many times when others poke holes into your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. This only causes you to think even further (which is ok).

Eventually, with time and having enough of these experiences you begin to develop your own voice.

*For more discussion on this specific point, I would highly recommend Malcom Gladwell’s Outliers book, chapter two “The 10,000 – hour rule”[1]

What If I Have Nothing To Say?

If you talk with someone who has a beautiful singing voice to name one of their favorite songs, and can they sing some from it, most will do it without a second thought. They have a talent that is developing and they enjoy sharing it with other people. It is only when we do not see the value of our voice that we try to keep it silent.

The fear of a young leader is that they have not lived long enough or had enough life experience to have anything of value to say. Or, they may think, “I don’t hold a position (with enough) authority, so why would anyone want to listen to me?”

Discovering our voice and what to say is a process. No writer sits down with pad and pen or computer and writes a first draft perfect essay, novel, or poem. Our thoughts have a first draft, then they are edited, rewritten, proofed, and many times at this point even sit on a shelf for further thought. This process if refined as it is thought through. Your voice is also refined as you use and exercise it. If you don’t begin the process, then you will never know where it may lead. If all you do is copy others then you will never discover how beautifully unique you are.

You have something to say, but you have to say it with your own voice, and that voice needs to be developed.

Jeremiah 1:6-10 “Then I said, ‘Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.’ 7 But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, ‘I am only a youth;’ for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord.’ 9 Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, ‘Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.” 

Saying It Louder Does Not Make Your Idea Any Better

Poorly designed ideas are often hidden in the volume of defensive person’s voice. If someone can’t articulate why they disagree with you, explain their own thoughts, or are not willing to dialogue about something, they may simply try to talk over you or talk louder than you. They may exercise poor logic in their diatribe (like straw man, red herring, ad hominem, etc.)  As a leader you have to guard against this fallacy in your own voice. Don’t talk louder if someone disagrees with you; just continue to rationally think through and explain your position.

Also, when people begin to raise their voices and speak over each other they become focused on what they are going to say next. They stop listening and discussion ceases. The fight may rage on but any possibility of winning a person over to their side is gone until things cool back down.

Your Voice Changes With Age

One of the most beautiful sounds is a senior adult choir in a church. It reminds me of days in my childhood when I would go to church with my grandparents. I would sit in between them on a stack of hymnals (so I could see the preacher). We would stand and sing the old hymns of Baptist tradition and I would hear my grandmothers and grandfathers voices. As they sang, “victory in Jesus,” and “On a hill far away . . .” their voices would shake because of their age. But it was beautiful none-the-less.

As we grow older our voice changes. From toddlerhood, puberty, from maturity, and to eventual old age, our voices change slowly over time. But it should never cease to speak. When you lead, speak from where you are now in your journey. As a thirty-something my voice is radically different than when I was in college, and as I approach fifty it is different even more. It is seasoned with a mortgage, children, marriage, and over twenty-five years of ministry. What I say now and how I say it, is different than when I was in college. But one should not wait until “maturity” or old age to say something. Each stage of life has something to add to the conversation. Just say it in humility — because we all have some more to learn.

So start putting original ideas out there, respect others but don’t copy them, and continue to refine your voice. You have something to say. Start talking. I’m listening.

[1] Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers, The Story of Success (New York, New York; Back BayBooks, 2008) 35.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith." Ephesians 2:8

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