Drew Boswell

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When the Church Gets Children’s Ministry Wrong

In November of 2010 I posted a series of three articles that deal with security in the church and how important it is to the reputation of the Church and the safety of children. This is a topic in church life that can easily be overlooked or moved to a lower position of importance, in leu of more “urgent” matters. Here are the articles if you would like to review them.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

The following is an article that I came across last week on AOL news. I am always shocked at what can happen in churches when there is poor leadership and policies and procedures are ignored. I have re-posted the story from AOL and then give a response below.

The Church Is It’s Own Worst Enemy

The AOL articles says, “The pastor and seven members of a small church in central Wisconsin have been charged with using wooden rods to spank infants as young as 2 months old for “being emotional, grumpy or crying,” the Dane County Sheriff’s office said.

The Aleitheia Bible Church, in the town of Black Earth, was started in 2006 with a donation in the range of $500,000-$600,000 from Bob and Lori Wick of nearby Mazomanie, according to a news release from the sheriff’s office. Lori Wick is the author of almost three dozen historical Christian novels with more than five million books in print, according to her Amazon profile. Reached by AOL News today by telephone at their home, Bob Wick said they “have no comment” on the case.

Publicists at Lori Wick’s publisher, Harvest House Publishers, did not immediately respond to emails from AOL News today for comment.

Philip & John Caminiti 

Dane County Sheriff’s Office Philip Caminiti, left, the pastor of Aleitheia Bible Church in Black Earth, Wis., and his brother, John Caminiti, 45, have been charged with a dozen counts of child abuse for allegedly using wooden rods to punish children.

The investigation into the Aleitheia Bible Church began last November, when former members contacted authorities with concerns about how children were being treated, according to the sheriff’s office.

Six church members pleaded innocent to charges of child abuse during an appearance Thursday in Dane County Circuit Court. They were booked and released.

Pastor Philip Caminiti, 53, and his brother, John Caminiti, 45, were charged with a dozen counts of child abuse last week and also pleaded innocent.

The victims included 12 children ranging in age from infancy to 6 years old, according to the sheriff’s office.

“During interviews with detectives, Phil expressed his belief that the Bible dictates the use of a rod over a hand to punish children. He stated that children only a few months old are ‘worthy’ of the rod and that by ‘one and a half months,’ a child is old enough to be spanked,” according to the sheriff’s office release.

“Throughout the investigation, the church members were open with detectives about their ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’ philosophy. They described using wooden dowels and wooden spoons on the bare skin of children, starting as young as 2 months old,” the sheriff’s office said.

“If you spank early and it is done right, then kids will be happy and obedient,” Philip Caminiti said, according to the criminal complaint.

According to the sheriff’s office, the dowels were described as being 12-18 inches long with a diameter about the size of a quarter. The parents told detectives that “redness and bruising” were the “common effects of the spankings.”

“One person described the children being emotional, grumpy or crying as behaviors that would constitute a spanking with a dowel,” according to the sheriff’s office.

Three sets of parents are among the six others charged, including two of Philip Caminiti’s children and their spouses: Matthew Caminiti, 27, and his wife, Alina, 24; and Maria J. Stephenson, 29, and her husband, Timothy, 28. Also charged are Andrea L. Wick, 26, and Timothy J. Wick, 27.

The children often were punished when they cried or failed to sit still during church services, a former church member told authorities. “Phil was very strict about children being quiet during church,” the complaint states.”

Here’s a link to the actual story.

A Response

What About the “Lost” Who Will Read This Article?

Can you imagine living in Wisconsin (or any other state for that matter) and opening up this article in web browser or newspaper? What if you had just finally convinced your husband or parents that church was “ok” and that the local Baptist church down the road might be worth checking out? These kinds of stories really give the church and it’s leaders a bad wrap, but the sad part of the story is that it’s true. The pastors don’t even try to defend themselves or their actions. They even use the Bible to try and justify their unwise at best and abusive at worst actions.

Also, what about the law enforcement officers and social workers who have to come in and deal with this mess? If they are not believers or have never experienced a healthy church, then this greatly taints their view of Christ, the Church, and Christians.

How will These Children (and their parents) Respond To The Church In the Future?

The issue of abuse is a big part of this story, but it’s not the only issue. What about the children who have to endure these actions — do we really think that when they are old enough to drive that they will hop in their cars and drive to church. I don’t think so. These leaders are driving people away from the church by the droves.

What is the Church Supposed to Do With “emotional, grumpy or crying” Children?

Love them. Teach them. Encourage them. But don’t beat them! It is not the church’s responsibility to discipline children, it is the parent’s. Church leaders should always bring “issues” to the parents attention and let them resolve it. It is the church’s role to guide, assist, support, pray for, and educate — but never the take over the responsibility of discipline or any other parenting responsibility (including teaching).  These critical responsibilities should never be abdicated by parents, nor assumed by the church.

What About Spanking?

Whatever you believe about spanking and children, it is the parent’s prerogative and should be left up to the parent’s to decide how they will disciple their children. Not all children should be disciplined the same way (I will leave this comment for another article). A parent is a far better judge of how to do this since they spend more than one hour, one day a week with the child. The church is not equipped with the proper information nor do they bear the responsibility for discipline.

Therefore, the church should never institute capital punishment of any kind because of the issues mentioned above. Their policy for discipline should be in writing, and the parent’s should be fully aware of the policy. So parents make sure you ask about a church’s discipline policy before you put your kids in any church’s program. And church, if you have not discussed this issue, you may want to do it soon before you are sued, or a child is hurt on your watch.

 

 

 

Background Checks and Security in the Church; Part Three

Checking References

When you call the references the person gives you (yes, really call them), ask “Would you hire or allow this person to work with your children?”  Ask the person to give you two more other people that they would suggest who knows or has worked with this person.  Is there anything that I need to know about this person with regard to ministry or children?

Personal Interview

Once you have done a background check and called the references, now it is time to sit down with the person for a personal interview. You can discuss such topics as;

  • History of discipline in their home
  • Their attitudes about discipline
  • Any incidences of abuse or molestation they might have experienced themselves

Your legal counsel or insurance agent should be able to help you know the kinds of questions you can legally ask and how to ask them.  Standard interview questions (questions that you ask every applicant) should be developed and used in personal interviews with volunteer or employee applicants, after reviewing the application, and checking all references.

This paperwork is your proof or evidence that you have implemented the security process.  The interview sheet should be kept on file as well as notes from the reference check, background approval and worker application form.  These records should be kept confidential and locked in a cabinet or closet.

Only one person needs to see and have access to these records – the one conducting the interview.  Keep a log of what volunteers have worked with what children at all times and maintain these records over a long period of time.  The statute of limitations of child abuse lasts until two years after the child reaches the age of 18.

Some sources suggest that workers should be fingerprinted and photographed and those records should be kept on file as well.  If a person indicates that they have been a victim of child abuse or you discover that this person has been alleged to have perpetrated child abuse they should not be allowed to work with children at all.

Each new worker should be given the legal definition of child abuse in writing, as well as the policy of the church on the reporting of child abuse before they begin service. This can be given to everyone (not jus the person) as a way of orienting them to your ministry.

In the screening process a Background and Information Release Form should be signed.  This allows the church to perform a criminal background check.  The form also releases the church from liability in releasing information if a church in the future inquires about the applicant’s involvement with your church.

An additional form should be considered, the Department of Human Resources’ (Child Welfare Department) Child Abuse Inquiry form.  These forms can be obtained from your state Child Welfare Department.  This will allow social services to disclose any accusation of child abuse reported to the agency.

If the applicant is hired or brought in as a volunteer, the church’s safety policy should be singed.  The worker/volunteer should have an extra copy to keep for review/reference purposes.

This process is time intensive, and takes resources away from programming, but remember that the barriers you set up is protecting you as the leader, the children you seek to minister to, the church, and the children in the future that you will reach. If there is a lawsuit, or an actual incident, it will cripple the church in it’s ability to reach even more children for Christ and its’ reputation in the community.

Background Check and Security in the Church; Part One

I sat down with my father some time ago, and over coffee we entered into a heated discussion about the education of my children.  We “discussed” public verses private schools, and homeschooling. As we waded into the sticky waters of the topic it became very clear to me that the school he was talking about and that he attended, was not the school that I attended.

We make decisions and values based on our life’s experience. His outlook was simply different even though we went through the same county educational system. His experience of education experience was radically different than my school experience. It was separated by over twenty years of radical change in a small rural Alabama town.

In those more than twenty years, segregation had been enacted, computers were introduced into classrooms, and the world had rushed into this small town. Now my children have dry erase boards that are controlled by the teacher’s computer, and internet is a daily part of my children’s lives. The world is no longer rushing into the classroom; today’s students can be anywhere and see anything that their heart’s and imaginations can take them.

But ever present with innovation, change, and advancement is man’s depraved heart to corrupt the most amazing and fascinating developments. The internet is a place of enlightenment and learning, but it is also a place of the worst of man’s corruption. Either are only a few key strokes away. As a boy, if I desired pornography I would have to convince my friend to steal it from his father, sell the magazine to me, and I would have to sneak it home in my backback from school. Today, my sons can simply type in “porn” and behold millions of web sites ready to give them man’s depravity for free.

I say all this to say, we live in a world that is exciting and innovative, and we are making huge strides toward making our world a better place – but as the innovation increases so does the danger. Those in church leadership have to realize that the church today has to be different than it was when they were growing up.

To focus on one of these major changes has to be in the area of security in the life of the church. Matthew 18:10 says, “Take heed that you do not harm one of these little ones, for I say to you their angels always behold the face of my Father.” If we do not change, and take steps to protect them, then we are negligent and responsible for harm that may come upon them.

Bill Hybels said “Today I believe the single remaining common interest or entrance point for non-churched people into the church is children.”[1] Children’s ministry is leading many churches to growth and God is using Children’s Ministry to bring people into the church so we should protect this door into our churches. Parents want their children to have a moral foundation even if they themselves do not follow God.

So as the spirituality of Americans continues to be open to discussions of Christ, we have to know that we have a very real and ever present enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy. 1 Peter 5:8-9 “Be self controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

Some Dreadful Statistics

  • There are between 250,000-500,000 pedophiles reside in the United States.[2]
  • Convicted child molesters who abused girls had an average of 52 victims each.
  • Men who molested boys had an astonishing average of 150 victims.[3]
  • The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children, most of who do not report the offense.[4]
  • It is estimated that approximately 71% of child sex offenders are under 35 and knew the victim at least casually.
  • About 80% of these individuals fall within normal intelligence ranges;
  • 59% gain sexual access to their victims through, seduction or enticement.[5]

As much as these statistics make us sick to our stomachs they can not with good conscience be ignored. We live in a world where there are people who seek out our children to do them harm. The church also tries to foster an atmosphere of acceptance and trust.  We want to think the best of our church family; no one wants to create an atmosphere of distrust.

We would like for the church to the hub of community activity therefore often times doors are left unlocked, hallways and restrooms are easily assessable and rarely monitored.  We want the community to know that in the church all are welcome.  But there are also monsters that appear in sheep’s clothing.  We must therefore be “shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” Matt. 10:16.

How can we then be open and accepting while at the same time protecting our most valuable asset, our children?  In most church-related sex abuse cases, the molester was a longtime member of the church, active in his/her community and liked by many. [6]

*this is part one of a three part article series.

[1] David Staal, Take The Challenge: Lead Up, Children’s Ministry Magazine, January/February 2003, p. 49.

[2] U.S. Department of Justice

[3] In a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health Dr. Gene G. Abel, Emory University

[4]The National Institute of Mental Health, 1988

[5]Burgess & Groth, 1984

[6] www.priority2.org/church.htm p. 10

"For by grace you have been saved through faith." Ephesians 2:8

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