Drew Boswell

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Father Daughter Dance 2012

Kimberly and H-G putting on lipstick

Last night was the Valdosta Father Daughter Dance hosted by First Presbyterian Church. Kimberly made the evening even more special by getting H-G’s nails and hair done, along with matching boutonniere and corsage.  Friends from church met at Austin’s steakhouse and had dinner together. From there we traveled to the local convention center where we met a 1,000 plus crowd. Girls were dressed in their favorite new dress and dads were sporting their ill fitting suits and coordinating ties. Nails were done, and hair was lifted high.  The majority of dads there didn’t know what to do, so they stood in circles and watched their daughters dance in front of them. Some nervously punched on their iPhones. Some volunteered to get them something to drink every five minutes, and some found a space along the wall to sit.

There was one slow song for dad’s to dance with their daughters, so the majority of the songs were fast, and the focus was fun not sappy sentimentality. On a trip to the bathroom we had to run back because Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” was playing. H-G and I danced to many songs I had never heard of, much less know the dance moves (or the words). So I just pretended I knew what was going on, and H-G is not old enough yet to know the difference. Yes, we did the chicken dance and the Hokey Pokey (I think there is a book out there somewhere that mandates that these two songs be played  at dances.) Even at seven years of age, I am already beginning to try and put the brakes on her growing up — I was not crazy about the party dress, the make-up, the lip stick, the jewelry, and the big hair.

I was crushed this year at Christmas when all the Barbie stuff went back to the store for a refund. Barbie was so “last year.” My little girl is now past Barbie (sigh). But as much as dad’s resist and don’t want their little girls to grow up, they will. It’s like trying to hold back the tide. So, when opportunities arise, and God throws you a softball, you have to hit it out of the park.

_____________________

Here’s Five Reasons to Have a Father Daughter Special Night; 

1. Daughters need to hear their fathers say, “You are beautiful.” This dance provided an opportunity for H-G to dress up for me as her date, way before (and I mean way before) she dresses up for some young man. For years I get to tell her how wonderful and beautiful she is before anyone else does. She gets to hear the words of someone who truly loves her and speaks the truth to her, instead of the words from a school aged crush. When H-G had her hair done she didn’t smile when it was being done, and she didn’t smile the whole way home. When Kimberly asked her what was wrong, she said, “will daddy laugh at me?” Daughters need to hear that they are beautiful, and we get to tell them. When she got home from the hair stylist I said, “wow you are beautiful!” and the smile returned.

2. Daughters want to spend time with their dads (alone). Kimberly and I have four kids, and H-G had specifically asked me to spend some time together, “just us” she said. I got to talk to and spend some undivided time with H-G. But I recognize that this can not happen just one night a year — it has to be planned out and the time guarded closely. I will only get so many of these dances, vacations, walks, bike rides, etc. so I must treasure each one.

3. Daughters need to see their dads enjoying being with them. We had a lot of fun dancing and learning “moves” together. It is ok for dad to relax, dance, and have fun — and it means so much more to a child when they can tell you are having fun with them. We were both nervous at the dance because neither of us knew what to expect. And we both were able to relax as we had some fun, danced with each other, and laughed. One time during our dancing she was spinning and her heavily sprayed hair got caught on the buttons on the sleeve of my jacket. We both laughed as we worked to untangle it.

4. Dad’s need to hear their daughter’s say, “I love you dad.” Nothing warms a man’s heart more than when his beautiful little princess holds his hand and tells him that she loves him. This is what makes burly extreme fighter mountain men play tea party and talk in funny voices with stuffed animals.

5. Dad’s need to have “a win” from time to time. Men by nature want to accomplish something, climb a mountain, run a marathon, or make a big sale. Last night was “a win” for many dads.  There are so many times when we let our kids down, forget stuff, or have to punish them for undesirable behavior. So it’s great to know that for one evening you did a great job at just being dad. We naturally doubt ourselves, how we are doing in our relationships with our kids, and especially our daughters — so last night was a great way to feel great as a dad knowing that we did the right thing and that our daughters know that we love them.

We ended our evening with a stop by the local ice cream store and we were home by 9pm. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful daughter and thankful for an opportunity to share a special evening with her.

pinning on dad's boutonniere

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Ephesians 3:14-19 “A Father’s Love”

In Ephesians 3:14-19 Paul is praying for believers in Christ, which he calls “you.” He is praying so that they will take an action, “to grasp,” and understand the volume of God’s love for them. This action and understanding will be to the fullest.

“14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family3 in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

Paul’s main idea is to get the reader to understand how great God’s love is for His children. It is described as four never ending  axis of a sphere, “breadth and length and height and depth.” The passage goes on to say, that this volume of love is “the fullness of God.” We know that God is eternal, never ending, and beyond measurement — so it is like our universe. God’s love is like the vastness of eternal space. It is a massive sphere, that is eternal in all four directions. We are surrounded by this volume of love from God, a volume beyond comprehension and measurement. No matter how far you travel in any direction, His love for you will never end. You are always surrounded by God’s love.

What happens if a person does not have this information? What is a person’s life like if they do not know of God’s love for them, and how deep, long, high, and deep it is? There will be an emptiness within them that they will seek to fill. They will do this in an earthly, fleshly, and fallen way. They will fill this empty area of their lives with what they think will make them happy. This passage shows us that if we can grasp ahold of the tremendous love God has for us, then it will fill us to the full — there will be no need to put anything else there. There will no longer be any emptiness, only the fullness of God.

If you take this same principle and apply it to the family, we get a very similar picture. If a daughter does not know of her father’s love, there will be places within her heart that she will seek to fill. She will desire to end the pain of the emptiness of the relationship by filling it with a false and sinful relationship with the first guy who comes along and tells her things Father’s should tell their daughters (“you are beautiful,” “I love you,” (words of affirmation) “Can I have a hug?” (appropriate physical touch) or “I will protect you” (safety)). If a Father is engaged in his daughter’s life, and tells her what she desperately need to hear, it will act as a anti-virus to the lost world who tries to destroy her.

Love also gives stability. The Ephesians passage discusses being “rooted and grounded” in this knowledge of love. When (not if, but when) our lives get chaotic and we become apprehensive, it is the knowledge of God’s love for us that allows us to remain stable and calm (even at peace). This knowledge of love acts as a handle. We can hang on to it, knowing that the ship of life may be rocking and rolling, but we are secure as long as we hang on to the knowledge of God’s love. Satan (even from the beginning) tries to get believers away from this very important and foundational truth. If he can get you to doubt God’s love for you then you will become very unstable, and he can then guide you to destruction.

This knowledge of love and the stability it brings gives one power for living. Paul says,”strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being.” The word for power here is the Greek dynomos“where we get our English dynamite. You will have strength like dynamite to live in this world. Not only will you have a fullness in your spirit, and your life will be stable and firm, but you will also be able to go out and make a difference with a dynamite impact.

Think of this same impact that parents have upon their children. If your children are able to comprehend the immense depth of your love for them, then they will have a fullness in their spirits, they will be stable in how they live their lives, and they will be able to launch out with power.

Have you told your kids how important they are to you today? Tell them that you love them. A father’s love, expressed, will change his children’s lives. A mother’s love, shown, will change the world.

"Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts." Rick Warren

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